Toy Stories
Thursday, July 2, 2009 One very cool thing about having a son is that I get to play with all the toys that I used to covet when I was a youngster. And unlike the grown-up toy geeks who just look creepy buying up all the Target exclusive Star Wars playsets when they come out, I can roll down the aisle, head held high, looking like a normal well-adjusted adult while I fill my cart full of action figure euphoria because I am getting them for my son (just ignore the spittle forming around the sides of my mouth as I explain in detail to Fury the subtle differences between the new Hoth Snowspeeder and the original Kenner version of my youth).
Another cool thing I get to do as Fury's dad is to actually play with these toys -- and observe him as he improvises smack-talk between 4-inch plastic combatants. In fact, everything that comes out of his mouth when we're playing with toys is the stuff dad-blog posts are made of. Lucky me. Some of my recent favorites:
This particular Lego build took me an entire three days:
Which is why remembering this little exchange still makes me cringe:
(From next room) "Hey, Fury. That Star Destroyer still in one piece?"
"Yup... *crack* I mean two...*crack* I mean three..."
I also remember the time he really impressed me with his creativity.
"Wow, Fury! Did you make this yourself?"
But there's also something to be said about his honesty:
"Nah, I broke it myself."
I don't know about you, but when I was a kid, action figure scenarios were all about good vs. evil. I guess today's kids subscribe to kinder, gentler, Spring breakier fantasies. "Look, dad! It's the Star Wars Party Truck!"
I think I bring my work home a little too often. Because this is the kind of tour Fury gave me when he recently set up his Playmobil Pirate Island playset:
"This is where the secret cave entrance is, and here is where you hide the treasure. And the cannons are right here to protect the fort. And in the back here... is the conference room."
Because it is imperative that today's pirate know his "Three P's" - Plundering, Pillaging and PowerPoint.
And mash-ups? You may think that these are a "Web 2.0" phenomenon, but really it's a "Kid 1.0" thing:
Today's superhero is one part Bionicle, one part Spiderman, one part Ben 10, one part Superman, one part Darth Vader, one part Yoda, one part The Children's Place, one part Nacho Libre and ten parts awesome.
When I was a kid, I remember playing with Tonka trucks and Matchbox cars in the same scenario, despite the fact that they weren't to equivalent scale (being able to pile 10 sedans into the bed of a single pickup truck kind of clues you in on that). When did kids get all up in arms about compatibility? I blame Windows Vista.
"Fury, how's this for a cool motorcycle!"
"Dad, you can't do that. You mixed a Mega Bloks gun with a Lego motorcycle!"
"What?"
"Dad, you would go to jail for that. Well, in some states. You're lucky California is a free state."
"OhmygodIhavetoblogthat."
And finally, it's nice to know that my kid can distinguish the really important life skills in today's world:
"Dad, this Bionicle has a throwing knife, thundersword, shark knife, superswords, small and large claws, energy sword, thunderblade, spinning blade, spinning hook, swinging glass breaker, energy shooter, super zapper, strike claw, 3-handled razor-sharp knife, stickblade, crab blasters, infected masks, canyon crusher, ice wall crusher, superbomb, machine blaster, pickup and drop, remake life power, lasers, poison out of their mouth, ultrakick, superkick... and he's a really good dancer."
It must be nice to know that you have a fallback career in case saving Mata Nui from the clutches of the evil Makuta doesn't really pan out.
Now you know why we've got a playroom that used to be a garage, stacked floor-to-ceiling with toys. They inspire me to write, while doing less damage to my liver.
Reader Comments (27)
This is so much more awesome than my commune of lesbian barbies. Which, for the record, you cannot mix with one male cabbage patch doll, no matter how hard your pervert 10 year old mind tries.
"One very cool thing about having a son is that I get to play with all the toys that I used to covet when I was a youngster"
Which is exactly why I had kids... so I now have a reasonable excuse to go see movies like Up. (Oh Pixar, you complete me.)
My boyfriend thinks you're the coolest guy/dad ever for so many reasons. I'd have to agree with him. And I know Fury does.
Excited to see you again in a few weeks!
Great post. I recently got to introduce my son to the first Lego store in NC. It was quite an experience for both of us.
"And mash-ups? You may think that these are a "Web 2.0" phenomenon, but really it's a "Kid 1.0" thing:"
As I type this the Whirlwind is building some rocket car-spaceship-submarine so that Penny and Bolt have an escape vehicle to use when they need to take Wall-E off the Axiom and save Earth from Lex Luthor.
I walk around my house with my digital camera, documenting the odd placement of toys. It's always good for random blog fodder, plus, I don't want to forget this stuff in 10 or 20 years. I can't imagine the day when I will be able to walk through my home without coming face to face with army men or Lego guys shooting at me from shelves and nooks. Sounds like a sad, sad house indeed...
My oldest son (13) wasn't in to the whole toy things.. He had the newer power rangers and spider man movie toys. I couldn't get him in on the gi joe or transformers bandwagon..
But I cringe when someone brings home a toy or a present and it has more than ONE PIECE..
My three year old daughter is restoring my faith in kids. She loves Ninja Turtles and when my wife promised her a toy, she said she wanted a TRANSFORMER..
YES!!!
And that Star Destroyer commits all forms of Bad Assery..
now you have to have a daughter....i know you miss my old toys too
Okay, so the picture totally made me laugh so loud the D and C both came in. C totally cracked up, being quite the bionicle afficionado himself, but he did want me to point out to you that Mata Nui and Makuta are old hat and that there's a new plot line now.
Out of the mouths of babes...
HA! Sis called you out. I like her.
This right here is classic BDB. Back to basics is what it's all about.
I'd have to give the Star Wars Party Truck an official 4 thumbs up.
You could play with that stuff with a daughter too yknow. I was a lego freak when I was a kid.
You had me at landspeeder.
Seriously, that was my most treasured possession when I was about 9 years old (1979). I hadn't thought of it much in the intervening decades, but you just reminded me how awesome it was in a time before ubiquitous computers and computer games.
And the keg droid is so right on!
As I was reading this, my 5yo daughter said,
"Mommy look! It's 'Dancing with the Bionicles!"
I'm not sure how she came up with that...lol
My 6yo is Bionicle obsessed. He loves to read the 'destructions' that come with each one. He wants to be a 'destruction worker' when he grows up.
What no Princess Lea? Fury should have a poster of Lea from her time with Jabba.
"and he's a really good dancer" -- AWESOME! I so wish that I could get my son together with your son. They'd have such a good time that I don't think we'd see them for days...
Dude, if Fury ever actually holds a meeting in the pirate conference room, you have GOT to post the minutes. Sheer brilliance, the comedic possibilities are endless.
My son isn't into those toys. Which may explain why my liver is a marlin.
Freaking Hilarious!
"Look, dad! It's the Star Wars Party Truck!"
Eh, I totally have a first generation keg droid. My advice is to spring for the second generation.
Less foam.
Hmmm. I still play with toys- I am probably the creepy middleaged guy you wrote about. Ohh well. What can I say? Chevron Cars rule as wel as matchbox, hot wheels.
"OhmygodIhavetoblogthat."- ROFL!
I feel the same way about My Little Ponies.
Believe.
1.) OMG my hitherto-absent uterus just skipped a beat
2.) I need to totally be Fury's internet *fairy* god mother
3.) He is TOTALLY worth turning tricks for, if only to buy toys with. My word but that boy is a creative force of nature!
Having a boy is like reliving your youth this time in a parents perspective. Kids have a very amazing world of imagination and it is really nice that we are invited to play along and not just mindless spectators telling them what to and what not to do.
Aw crap... my daughter is now 18... it's been a LONG time since I could use her as an excuse to buy Star Wars toys....
Those legos are SO cute!! I love that they have a conference room, that is adorable. I loved playrooms, my little brothers have one. In hs when my friends would come over that was ALWAYS the first stop. For at least 30 minutes. 45 minimum for the guys.
Pirates are a dying breed... they need to have important brainstorming meetings on strategy and marketing. Why, look at what they pulled off with Johnny Depp!
Which is why I am lucky to have had girls who only want to play gentle games with barbies. But don't mix Barbies with Bratz!