(Toy) Breaking News
Sunday, March 16, 2008 The Galactic Observer
Coruscant and Core Worlds Edition
Chancellor Palpatine Issues Galaxy-Wide Manhunt
TATOOINE - Following the grisly discovery of the remains of a Republic Clone Trooper on the outskirts of Sector 764, a remote outpost on the desert planet of Tatooine, Supreme Chancellor Palpatine has mobilized an elite Jedi unit to apprehend the likely suspects, a pair of interplanetary bandits known collectively as the "Crazy Dogs."
Clone Trooper Battalion 55 found the body of their fallen comrade after a search and rescue mission, immediately following reports that one of their own had been abducted from a plateau region commonly referred to as Patio Table.
Troops mourn the loss of their comrade. "He put the action in action figure," they fondly recall.
"I had a few scouts hold their position on Patio Table after a day of military exercises in The Sandbox zone," explains Commander BD. "Their armor was infused with excess sand, and judgment told me that Interior Minister d Wife would not want them to enter the Home Zone in that state of contamination."
Sometime during the evening, as the troopers slept, one scout was abducted from the unit. Hopes for a safe return were dashed when searchers found what was left of him the next morning.
"This is an outrage," stated Chancellor Palpatine at a press conference that afternoon. "We will spare no resources to ensure that whoever did this is captured and punished to the full extent of the law. Our elite military investigative unit staked out the area and have solid surveillance footage of the suspected perpetrators returning to the crime scene."
Surveillance footage spells doom for the "Crazy Dogs."
An elite Jedi unit led by Obi Wan Kenobi protoge "Kid Fury" has been dispatched to Tatoonine to launch a large-scale manhunt.
Newly appointed Jedi Knight Kid Fury readies his team for his first mission as a unit leader.
To expedite efforts, the Chancellor hopes to entice bounty hunters across the galaxy to join the hunt by issuing a 50,000 Galactic Credit reward for information leading up to the capture of the "Crazy Dogs."
"Use extreme caution," Palpatine warns. "And biscuits."
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Reader Comments (31)
*shoots snot-rocket*
I guess crack is pretty accessible down there in LA, huh?
Did you know that my first wedding was scheduled to be Star Wars themed, complete with the walking down the aisle to Darth Vader's march? DID YOU?
Yes, I have issues with Star Wars. And yes, this may be the funniest thing I have ever read.
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[BusyDad] I can get it more easily than a newspaper and a donut during my daily ghetto fab train commute. And NO WAY about your Star Wars wedding. Sorry, but I think that is way too cool. Sad thing is - I'm being totally serious.
I see the Jedi council is finally taking young Fury seriously. Perhaps he will earn his Jedi robe after this mission.
KEEP BELIEVING
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[BusyDad] They actually offered him one. He passed though. Said it made him look too much like a Jawa.
Well, now. The Jedi apple has not fallen far from the Obi Wan tree, has it? All this while you've had us believing that the Lego Starships and Storm Trooper action figures were for FURY...
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[BusyDad] What ever do you mean? They ARE for Fury. And when I went to the Star Wars convention this summer when he was out of the country, I did it so I could scout it out for him. For this year.
Wow, wow, wow, the newly appointed Jedi knight kid is the most handsome of them all.
You've been tagged again.
http://love4kids.blogspot.com/2008/03/what-do-you-think-of-me.html
No obligation, ok?
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[BusyDad] :) It sure beats looking like Yoda! I'll check out the meme.
Brilliant! Dog Wars III: The Canines Strike Back
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[BusyDad] :D uh oh. I see many trips to Toys r Us to cast for this epic film.
*snicker*
this was too cute. Fury is definitely worthy of being a Jedi Knight. This was adorable.
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[BusyDad] Thanks Rachel! Makes the houseful of lightsabers and other random Jedi paraphernalia worthwhile.
Crazy you are.
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[BusyDad] Too much fun with Fury's toys, I have ;)
I'm having trouble getting past the idea of a Star Wars themed wedding. Although that's way cooler than a Star Trek wedding.
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[BusyDad] I am too, but in the opposite way. I can't get over how cool it would be to walk down the aisle to the Imperial March!
I don't know... as I check out the surveillance footage, I'm starting to think BJ is getting a raw deal. It looks like Krypto did most of the gnawing.
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[BusyDad] Upon further investigation and paw print analysis, I have concluded that BJ was the one who made the actual snatch. Maybe part of his initiation into the gang?
I believe what you need now is some enormously large pachyderm-like animal for Young Jedi Fury to ride in his reconaissance (sorry, can't spell) missions. Something that would put fear into Crazy Dogs. Have fun building that...
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[BusyDad] "Have fun building that" - haha you've so got the dynamic of the BD household down.
OMG, blast from my past (yes I am old)! I love it!
P.S. You have an award waiting for you over on my blog!
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[BusyDad] Thank you mamawise! I see you presented it to my blog hopping alter ego. Yes, lot's of people would say that I'm more excellent when I am buzzed. Ok, just I would.
Wow. Can I call you a nerd? I mean, I know we've not known each other long... but... wow... nerd. ;) ha ha.
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[BusyDad] *sigh* it's better than geek I guess... and as long as you only mean it in the coolest sense of the word.
With a taste for vengance and pocket full of treats, I accept the mission.
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[BusyDad] Fury has the tennis balls. You should nab them in no time.
OMG, BusyDad! I don't know whether to be impressed or scared!
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[BusyDad] If you weren't scared, I'd be impressed.
Too cute! Generation 2? Didn't Hunter chew up your han solo and boba fett? And Fury would make a darn cute jawa :) I see the jedi training paid off!
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[d Bro] Did Hunter chew up my action figures? I don't remember that! Maybe I repressed it.
If you weren't Asian and were a lilly-white 60% Irish guy, I'd think you were my husband. Except he doesn't have the kick-ass skills in the blogging arena like you. So, really, I guess you're not like him after all. But I like you but not LIKE-like, like love-like, or whatever. You get it.
I'll go now.
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[BusyDad] Wait! Where you going? I heard something about kick-ass skillz... dammit.
Krypto looks like such a thug in his mugshot and BJ looks like he should have a newsboy cap on. Hahaha! HIGHlarious!
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[d Hubby] Haha - He's like the little sidekick in the bugs bunny cartoons who goes "yeah boss! get 'im boss! you're the best, boss!" and jumps around in an orbit around the big guy.
Pooo it didn't work. Well this is what I wanted to put up. I needed a visual aid this time.
MariePic
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[BusyDad] That is a funny picture response :) I tried to get the image to show but I think this comments section only allows limited HTML. I hyperlinked it for you though. Thanks! And I am very impressed you noticed the lone saluter. I was going to do them all like that, but it didn't look like saluting so I gave up.
Finally! With Fury there will be justice once again in the galaxy...as long as he is not distracted by the "crazy dogs" looks of innocence (just look as those faces in the picture)! Good luck Fury.
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[BusyDad] Oh don't worry. Fury is not fooled by the innocent looks. He himself is the master of that technique.
uh huh - I see how you spend your Wednesdays now! :)
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[BusyDad] I call it play therapy. That way I can claim action figures as a medical expense on taxes.
I think someone figure out how to drink at work without spillage...too funny.
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[BusyDad] Sport bottles. And vodka looks like water. shhh.
OMG - you are incredibly creative. I LOVE the photos!!
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[BusyDad] What? Those are actual news photos from the intergalactic AP. ;) (i am a total nerd).
Fury looks ready to lead! I want him on my side!
Hilarious post!
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[BusyDad] Thanks Lyssa :) Fury will face any challenge. As long as he can bring his lightsaber (and a backpack full of Bionicles and action figures).
"And biscuits" Oh the hilarity!
OMG, Fury as a Jedi has me rolling!!!
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[BusyDad] :) That pic made him so happy. He kept asking me if he could "see it again!"
Did you have to use night-vision goggles for the surveillance footage? Love the Jedi uniform on Fury.... very cool.
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[BusyDad] The best surveillance equipment Galactic Credits could buy. A digital camera and photoshop (well paintshop pro). And I'm glad I took those pics over Halloween!
Grievous Bodily Chewing sounds terrible.
I think?
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[BusyDad] I would think so, and I'd ask the Clone Trooper, but we can't find the bottom half of his head. I think I know where I will eventually find it, but I will spare you the picture.
This was HILARIOUS!! Loved it, one of the funniest things I have read EVER! And that young Jedi, ooh, we better watch out for him. He looks like he has mad skillz and he could kill us with his cuteness!
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[BusyDad] Thanks Amy! Yes, that's one power he wields with more success than Master Yoda.
Likely your best post of all time! You are so creative!!
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[BusyDad] Thank you Piper! It is definitely my personal favorite post so far! Very cool you thought so too.
Hahahahaha!!!! I can't believe I've been away from here for so long. Geez! I missed this jewel.
Love the Fury photo... I'll bet he did too.
MTFBWY, Fury and BD.
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[BusyDad] Glad you liked it. Thanks! It is my single favorite post so far :) And Fury loved that pic. He kept making me show it to him.
This SCREAMS nerd to me. But thats ok.
Seriously, this is one of those posts that he is going to CHERISH.
ha ha ... My dog used to eat up all my action figures when i was little too. I could never figure out where destro, snake eyes and flint went till about 8 years later found out my pit bull had a thing for plastic men. Girl dogs what can ya do.
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[BusyDad] Ha - that just brought on a wave of nostalgia. I had all those guys too. And a dog.