The Tao of Poo
Sunday, August 22, 2010 
Hi everyone, I'm Alessia. But you can call me Lessi. My dad made me guest post today because he's busy blogging on Huggies' new blog HighChairCritics.com. Sure dad, work the paid gig and leave the "keepin it real" stuff to your infant daughter. Hey, I wasn't born yesterday, you know. In fact, it's been at least like 90 days. Those free diapers benefit you more than me. I'm just as happy going au naturel on the couch knowwhutimean? If you know what's good for you, you better start saving up for that pony. By the way, what kind of a nickname is Lessi? My big brother gets a badass nickname with a compelling backstory, and what do I get? A measly vowel removed from each end of my name.
Uninspired nicknames aside, I like being a part of this family, and I do understand that with it, comes certain duties. The main one being working the family blog with my brother. Well, at least it's not planting rice. All hail the digital age!
So, readers of the Lin Family blog, I'd like to drop some wisdom on you today. You may be smart grown-ups and stuff, but I know a thing or two about good living, because I don't have a boss, a lienholder or kids. Also, I haven't learned how to do a proper topical segway, so here goes.
A genuine smile can make someone's day.
It can also cause a chain reaction. Especially if you tweet it.
Dads are great, but never as good as moms.
No boobies. Sorry dad, you lose.
Allow yourself to be mesmerized.
This dragonfly is awesome. It moves back and forth. It is colorful. And when it stops, all I have to do is cry and someone will make it move again. The basic principles of physics and social manipulation rolled into one. Fascinating. Which brings me to my next tidbit (oh, I'm starting to get this segway thing)...
To get what you want, sometimes you've got to make some noise.
You might get passed around a lot, but eventually someone will break down and carry/bounce you in endless laps around the living room at 4am. At least he got to watch 3 episodes of Dexter while doing it.
Fall asleep in the car. There is nothing better.
I learned that from my big brother.
No wait -- a burp and a nap. That pretty much rules the world.
Case closed.
Poop (in a well-shaped diaper, no less) is love.
Ok, well, creation is love, but until I can churn out drawings that you can adoringly stick on the fridge, poop is all I got in that department.
p-p-p-pooper face p-p-pooper faceIn fact, just the other day, when dad had to fly to Boston, I showed him just how much I loved him by making a good-bye poop. I even timed it perfectly to when we had to rush out the door. He laughed, put down his bags and changed me while mom and Fury waited in the car. After he gave me a fresh new diaper I thought since he would be gone for a few days, another expression of love was in order. He looked at his watch, smiled once more and opened my second present and began to change me. This time I thought "how about one for the road?" I didn't even bother to wait for the new diaper.
I've never heard the phrase "oh my #$%@ no %^$# way!" but I think it means "that's the best going away present ever! You're the best!"
Well, that's all I got for now. I've only been around a few months. I'll think up some more later. But first, I'm going to shop these gems of knowledge to a fortune cookie company. They may pay better than dad.
[BusyDad covering his butt: I have partnered with the Huggies® brand to help promote Huggies® Little Movers Diapers. They paid me in cash and diapers, (which just sounds more like a ransom arrangement than a business one) in exchange for neglecting my wife to write about my experiences from my daughter’s point of view here and on HighChairCritics.com. Which, come to think of it, is who I should use that cash on, if I know what's good for me. My opinions and absurdity are entirely my own, because I'm sure Huggies isn't some crazy Asian guy punch drunk on parenting and lack of sleep.]
Reader Comments (18)
Great post, absolutely loved. Even more so that your daughter is more familiar with Segway rather than "segue" - typical!
I'm sorry, were you saying something about diapers and sleeping?
I can't pay attention when my eyeballs are being filled with all things adorable.
She looks so much like Fury, except with more hairbows.
That is one beautiful little girl!
She is too adorable!
Congratulations kittycat (trying the cool nickname thing) on your first post! hmmm, little tiger...? Furball? (goes with Fury) You are much too cute and have wisdom beyond your yea- months. Just keep posting your smiling or pooping cheeks on your dad's blog and you'll be more popular than your dad! I hope you get that pony :)
♥
I agree about your needing a better nickname. Tell your pop to get to work on that one.
At least she's not planting rice???
She's going to kick your butt for that one someday.
Also, tell her auntie mr lady will always refer to her as "the fast."
That's amazing how much she looks like Fury. Adorable. now .. for a cool ass nickname. How about .. "Powered by Mighty Wind"
Alessia is a GENIUS! What an accomplished writer for one so young... Impressive, Jim.
I woke my kids up laughing at the "not picking rice" comment. Classy.
And she's right on the money about her smile cheering people up. I am still grinning over that little collection. Good job on upping the photo ratio. Very proud of you.
Lessi, you are soooo cute and adorable, can't wait to hold you and kiss you again. You have grown so fast, so chubby, Mommy must be eating goood food for you. Don't grow so fast please. Pirate Fury konked out from babysitting I guess. Love to all:-) Tita S
Again! Literally laugh out loud funny! She's adoooooorable! Obviously, she gets that from her Mamma, right? ;-P
Congrats on the Huggies gig! You need it!
FYI, I love "Lessi"
Happy Wednesday!
awa what a cutie, love her wisdom , for a little thing she is very all knowing
Nice! These little ones always manage to "bless" us at the perfect time! Mine's 5 months and working on crawling... I'm in trouble!
We have the Whoozit too... always covered in drool!
She's adorable! And...
You're totally screwed. That's all.
ok I had to add this...the Family Guy episode where Peter is in touch with his feminine side and tries to nurse Stewie.....
oh, as for names, remember mom's "chinese" name for her HAHAHA!
That is one cute daughter you got.
And not gonna lie, huggies rock over any other diaper.
Oh, she's just gorgeous. Now, put away those pictures away, before I show them to my husband and our resolve to keep our family the size it is melts away. (That was an amazingly long sentence for not being a run-on.)
Wonderful post Lessi. WOW! It is true kids today are smarter then when we were kids. Thanks again this clever post.