That Blogger Convention… No Not THAT One!
Thursday, July 31, 2008 BusyDad: So, Mommica, did you pass out those flyers?
Mommica: Flyers? What is this, college? You have speakers to sell?
BusyDad: Well how else were we going to spread the news about our BlogKids Convention!
Mommica: Hello! Evite? You were supposed to Evite everyone.
BusyDad: I Twittered it.
Mommica: Who the hell follows you on Twitter?
And so went the opening ceremonies of the first annual BlogKids Convention. Organizers and attendees were equally excited to get this thing kicked off, mainly because they were the same people. Mommica and Me and the poor kids who will curse having bloggers for parents our wonderfully adorable children. And the fact that this was held the same weekend as BlogHer? An optimist would say that’s the reason only 2 adults and 3 kids showed up. A normal person would say “dumbasses.”
But what the BlogKids Conference lacked in attendance, it made up for in practical tips and insights for today’s budding blog child stars:
Government Regulation of Blog Post CPI (Cuteness per inch): A Roundtable Discussion
Having cute kids gives some bloggers a distinct advantage, even if it’s just a few more “OMG so cute!” or “awwwww adorable” comments per post. They add up. And in the comment exchange marketplace they trade strong against the “LOL.” Do cute kids create unfair competition? Our experts tackled the issue over Roberto’s Tacos (Wolfgang Puck said “who ze vack are you?” his team was committed to another event) as workshop participants Fury, The Prince and E demonstrated how to overclock the CPI on a page with peaceful group play, oversized swimsuits that require cinching with one hand while digging, residual food around the mouth and expressions of concentration disproportionate to the task at hand (moving sand). Time-tested techniques. This session concluded that quotas should be implemented for CPI, with the recommended punishment for exceeding such quotas being the immediate completion of all the memes sitting on one’s backburner.
Creating the Perfect “Mini Me” Moments: Beginner Workshop
Being a talented blog kid requires the ability to channel key aspects of your parent’s personality on cue. Nothing inspires an “awwwww adorable” (currently trading at 2.5641 LOLs) comment like sitting on your dad’s motorcycle with a huge helmet on, posing with sunglasses and a Budweiser or wearing “dad and me” versions of the same Hooter's t-shirt. In this session, Fury demonstrates an intermediate technique called “stand just like dad does.”
Juxtaposition of Agony: Advanced Workshop
Oh how readers love the perfect group shot where everyone’s smiling cooperatively for the camera -- except for the little one. Juxtaposing agony with pleasantries is an advanced technique that few ever master. We were lucky enough to have one of the foremost “writhe of agony” experts in the blogging field with us at BlogKids 08. They didn’t put a “The” in front of his name for nothing. The Prince shows us below in a live demonstration how to apply the Limp-Arm-So-You-Can’t-Stand-Me-Up technique in concert with the No Nap Banshee Scream.
Mommica would like everyone to know that she created that "beach hair" look on purpose to lend authenticity to the venue.
Finding Relevance: Breakaway Session
No, we had to keep searching. Luckily, diligence, a quick camera finger and a very regular Polar Bear were working with us that day:
We really could not top that moment with any sort of keynote speech, so we decided to just call it a year. I’ve got my Kinko’s card all set to go for 2009. Look for the blue flyer with the cute kids and a polar bear defecating.
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Reader Comments (34)
Next year, I'm skipping BlogHer for this (you can thank the beach hair. Meeooow)
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[BusyDad] I told her it was a draw. She didn't believe me.
You went from beach to zoo in one day? Fury can HANG.
FYI, I totally missed that twitter which leads me to believe it did not exist. Because hello! Am BlogHer misfit. And local blogger.
The pic of him standing like you is classic. Glad you guys had fun!
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[BusyDad] The boy can hang when 1) he's doing fun stuff and 2) when he can ride atop his poor dad's shoulders as they walk miles of why-did-they-make-this-damn-zoo-so-hilly-terrain. And then refuel with ice cream.
Now that's my kind of blog convention. Please kindly send to me registration information for the next one :)
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[BusyDad] We're easy. That WAS the registration information info for next year. See you there! (we'll get the evite working this time!)
That looks freaking awesome. I'm a little jealous.
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[BusyDad] The we have TOTALLY succeeded!
LOL. OMG, so cute.
Do you offer sponsorship opportunities? Maybe a small 4' x 6' booth?
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[BusyDad] Yes, the going rate is a 12-pack of Newcastle. Early registration gets you a 50% discount. Bring a 6 and you're in.
That picture of The Prince? Is. Fricking. Hilarious.
A HUNDRED THOUSAND LOLs for for that kid.
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[BusyDad] Do Mommica and I get LOL commission for that?
I am taking notes, as this is such excellent advice. I have been wondering what to do now that I've used up my 2008 allotment of CMK (cute messy kid) photos photos. What to do? what to do? after all the chocolate cake birthday mouth pics and the finger painted my own belly pics and the tried to fish but fell in pics are used up? Now I know. Time for a little Mommy and Me photo action. Coming right up!
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[BusyDad] (entrepreneurial mind churning...) I'm thinking the BusyDad-Mommica Online Correspondence Course for Blog Child Stars...
So, I'm confused... I thought you WENT to the blogher convention, or at least the party. Dude, I saw PICTURES... I have GOT to figure out how to be in two places in once. Then I could solve my whole - taking the kids grocery shopping with me when all they want to do is jump their ramp with their BMX bikes nightmare.
Polar bear poop is awesome, I see. Hippo poop is right up there, too. They then swish it around with their tails like a fan for the fishes to dine upon. Nice.
KEEP BELIEVING
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[BusyDad] Yes, I did go to both. They don't call me Busy for nothin you know ;) Fri, Sat Blogher, Sun Blogkids and SD Zoo. I don't sleep much, but who really does, you know?
I was recently at the San Diego Zoo's Wild Animal Park in Escondido. What impressed me the most was the 12 ounce beers for $6.50, sold from carts on the side of the trails. Heck, they even had Newcastle Brown Ale! So did you see any beer vendors at the zoo? I love Sandy Eggo..........Peace, Mike.
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[BusyDad] That's rock bottom theme park pricing right there!! I did not notice any Newcastles there unfortunately. That would have greatly eased the strain of my near-60 lb kid on my shoulders.
EWW! Polar bear,that was so not cute but definitely worthy of an OMG!
The kids, all adorable, especially the screaming one. It's like you grabbed that photo out of my camera...
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[BusyDad] When I heard kids starting to scream ewwwww I didn't even look at what the commotion was about. I just turned the camera and pointed. Getting the OMG blog shot is now pure reflex.
Did you remember to say hi to her from me? Did you?
Will try to make BlogKids next year. ;)
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[BusyDad] OF COURSE I did! I am the best intermomblogging messenger around (it's a fun job).
I'm so envious! We have the beach, but no other bloggers.
How fun!! I adore you and Mommica!! Wish I'd been there.
Oh well, someday. Maybe hubs'll get transfered.
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[BusyDad] Or... we can hold Blogkids in TX. Tacos are good, but BBQ is better. And messier (good for those CPI shots).
So, yeah. When is the next convention? Hmmm? Hmmm? better put a BIG OL' NOTE on your front page, dude.
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[BusyDad] I'm old school, Tom. There's a flyer on the corner of Baldwin and Huntington Ave. in Arcadia. When? Whenever a bunch of us can get our kids together with a cooler and some cameras. I'm an idea guy. Bad executor.
Next BlogKids convention date: sometime during the week of, but not exactly pinpointing June 29-July 3rd, Newport Beach, CA. E & The Prince have been asked back, and there's rumor of The Prince moderating a very special follow-up session, entitled: "How to Drive Away the Crazy Blogger People by Throwing Your Own Feces at Them" (Inspiration taken from his only known blogger friends, Fury and BD.) Join us. We'd love to have you. (Fine Print: nappy beach hair must be not only acknowledged as a side effect to convention attendance, but also openly welcomed - thank you Mr. Lady.)
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[BusyDad] Way to plan ahead, Mommica. Done! I have one year to grow out my hair.
I couldn't tell for sure, but I think I saw your silhouette with camera in one hand and victorious fist raised with the other as you captured that video. Clearly it's the next multi-million-hit-wonder on YouTube. Giggling kids, poop, plus the added bonus of an endangered arctic mammal instead of the regular ol' domestic dog? You rock.
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[BusyDad] hahaha you can always tell a blogger by the degree of elation on their face as they get the perfect shot. You can almost see the thought bubble "dude! I am SO posting this when I get back!"
Rumor has it you used the "Limp Arm so You Can't Stand Me Up" technique while at the BlogHer parties....
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[BusyDad] WHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!. um... not true?
Just started reading you after finding you on all those BlogHer after-posts. This was hilarious. Thought I'd share a pic that lacks the advanced juxtaposition but does have the Mom Forcing Child Under Extreme Duress thing going and therefore made me think of it when I saw that screaming Mommica child.
http://www.unwellness.com/unwellness/2008/07/10-month-chair.html
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[BusyDad] That pic is classic. No interpretation necessary: he HATES that chair.
AWESOME! Next year, fo sho!
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[BusyDad] Little Man needs to run a seminar, ya know?
Sign me up for next year! Now if I can only get someone to send me as a PD expense!
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[BusyDad] Isn't that the trick to everything? I need a corporate sugardaddy.
Haha, I've dealt with the Limp-Arm-So-You-Can’t-Stand-Me-Up thing fifteen times today...just seeing that pic stressed me out :)
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[BusyDad] Haha I know! Automatic sympathy pangs anytime I see a parent deal with that going limp kid at Target.
I can definitely hang with you on the CPI, but I'm eating your dust when it comes to serendipitous animal bowel movements. I do have kangaroos. Any points for kangaroos?
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[BusyDad] Hmmm I'm no roo expert, but I'd say a roo poo shot trades at the equivalent to a deer, just a shade below horse poo (and only because they poop in high volume)?
Sounds like a blast! I was hoping that you might consider playing on the east coast next time around. A good conference floats from city to city, wreaking havoc wherever they go.... :o)
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[BusyDad] That is certainly a consideration. I am an equal opportunity havoc wreaker.
huahuahua!
hey...
I follow you on twitter... :) (I do now anyways... :))
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[BusyDad] So my sly side campaign to get more followers worked!
Damn, if only I lived 1000 miles closer to your neck of the woods. Despite the distance, I will be eagerly awaiting that
poopyflier.-----
[BusyDad] I can messenger pigeon it to you?
I wish I'd known about this. But I had a super big vacation planned so I couldn't have been there for this one.
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[BusyDad] You know your next super big vacation is blogkids, right?
Uh, sponsorships for BK '09 are NOT strictly limited to a 12-pack of Newcastle. Clearly, BD forgot the rules of engagement here, but no fret - I will correct. The official sponsorship package begins with the 12pk., but "Ultimate Bloggger" sponsorship actually starts with a fee of a nice bottle of wine ($20 or more) plus several pages of why you love our blogs. That's it. No big whoop.
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[BusyDad] Mommica is way better at being director of sales than I am. Please direct all further inquiries to her.
Here I thought my kids had perfected the "limp arm", but it looks like they have some work to do.
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[BusyDad] Yes, but your boy has the market cornered on timely remarks that bring embarrassment and nervous laughter. We need a workshop on that. What is his schedule like next June?
BlogKids sounds awesome. Especially when involving Polar Poop. Classic.
I want to be invited next year! I'll bring my newborn I don't care!
Oh and that limp arm thing had me freak'n OUT about what's to come in not too many moons from now.... geez.
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[BusyDad] Newborns occupy their own Blogkids subcategory. Brush up on "peeing while getting diaper changing" and "puking on expensive clothes" and we'll reserve a workshop slot.
If I had kiddos I'd come! Do yellow labs count?
Okay so that video.. that's gonna go viral. I'm passing it on to everyone! HILARIOUS! and GROSS. The best part is Fury's commentary. Great pic of him with the snake by the way.
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[BusyDad] You know, my dogs do also provide some great blog fodder. Tell you what, you can help us run the companion seminars running concurrently, called Blogpooch. Same place, same time, same party :) When someone makes variations of that video of the Polar bear with a lightsaber, I'll have you to thank!
I can just picture Fury telling everyone he meets now, "I saw a polar bear poop!"
And the snake pic... :D
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[BusyDad] Hey, it took ME 36 years to see that. It's quite an accomplishment for a 6 yr old.
I see this thing going national! We should pick a day and spread the word! We could have an attendance contest (not sure I could beat you though☺)
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[BusyDad] Would that be hilarious or what. This thing actually becoming an event. As with anything blog related - you never know.
Awesome. I fully expect your conference to be even bigger and cuter next year!
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[BusyDad] Thanks Carrie - I think we're already there. Let's do this thing!
OMG. So cute.
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[BusyDad] That comment = high street value! thanks!
My first thought was, "WOW! BD and Fury stand alike. I'm definitely going to have to mention that in my comment." Then, "DAMN! He already caught that fascinatingly bizarre little habit of theirs."
So now you've left me with nothing to say except nice capture on that polar bear video. That's the kind of thing my husband would force me to blog about whether I wanted to or not.
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[BusyDad] :) Actually Mommica caught that and emailed me that pic. Pretty funny though huh? And I do think there indeed is a clause about posting any and all funny moments involving poop in the parent blogging terms and conditions.