BusyDad's #Movember 'stache 11/1/11 - 11/30/11 RIP #NorelcoDads

We are gathered here today to pay respects to a vailiant spirit. One who defied all odds by simply existing. Who struggled tirelessly in the face of opposition, doubt and ridicule. It was a scrappy little spirit, my Movember moustache, and as the saying goes, it's not the follicles in the fight, it's the fight in the follicles. And micron for micron, my little moustache was the baddest of the bad.

And it made me bad by extension. Little kids, like my daughter would pull on it. Didn't pirates pull their beards before battle? Yeah, my daughter thought I was a pirate. My co-worker once asked me "Jim, are you growing something or are you too busy to shave?" That right, I'm too busy being a badass to shave. No one in my Muay Thai gym even noticed my facial hair. Why? Because they are ALL badasses and, you see, it just looked par for the course. When my coach finally did notice it, he straight-up said "that's badass." No ambiguity there.

However, the baddest thing my moustache ever did was join forces with 50+ other dads on the Movember Dad 2.0 team to raise over $12,000 to fight men's cancer. It's the fight in the follicles indeed. In fact, the collective follicles on my team made such a stir that Norelco decided to match our contribution and send us all electric razors to to mark the end of this epic month (my moustache told me to tell you all opinions on the video below are my own, because it was not only badass, it was also a legally compliant one).

Since the last day of Movember fell in the middle of a business trip to San Francisco, I got my razors Fed-Ex'd to the hotel. I wish I could have provided a more glorious venue for the ceremonial shaving of my courageous moustache, but sometimes when all you've got is a hotel sink, you make the best of it. You also make your business partner participate in your silly video. Again.

If seeing manly men shaving is your cup of tea, check out all of the Movember Dad 2.0 crew doing their thing on Norelco's Stache-Tacular Shave-Off site.

Oh, by the way, there's a nice $30 rebate on the SensoTouch 3D razor I used in the video here.

#Movember Update, Day 9: Asian henchman #6 in training

It's been 9 days since I started trying to coax some whiskers in the name of prostate cancer. Let me just say that I've been made fun of online as well as in public (I spoke at Blogworld like this!), but you know what? The weaker my facial hair, the more opportunity I get to tell people why I'm doing this. Besides the "I wanna look like an Asian bad guy from an 80's action flick," of course.

I know my other Movember teammates have been kicking some ass on the moustache front as well as the money raising front, and I'm falling painfully behind on both. So help an Asian bad guy out, won't you? My Movember donation page is here: http://us.movember.com/mospace/2051428/

And yes, I know that technically, goatees aren't allowed. However, I read the rules, and they clearly define a goatee as a moustache that connects with the beard. Seeing as I have zero follicles that can complete said connection, I'm well within the guidelines.

I also stopped cutting my hair. Anything to distract your vision from the struggle going on atop my lip is a public service to you. You're welcome.

#Movember: Chillin' like an Asian villain

Understanding the following post requires knowledge of the following prerequisite facts:

1) I have never grown facial hair. I simply can't do it. Although that has never been empirically determined, there are some things in life you can extrapolate with confidence. My body is smoother than a baby-powdered baby's bottom. I am wind-tunnel tested, aerodynamic. My coefficient of friction is lower than Bank of America's approval rating. While it's generally an Asian thing to lack body hair, other Asians take one look at my silky legs and proclaim "damn, you SO Asian!"

2) I don't do anything I'm not good at. I'm too competitive.

3) I always wanted to look like an Asian villain. The best ones have cool facial hair. Cases in point:

 Odd Job from Goldfinger. Kickin' it old school.

Mr. Fuji from WWF. Fake kickin' it.

Ming the Merciless from Flash Gordon. Fake kickin' it Asian, but I dig Max Von Sydow and will consider him an honorary one.Kickin' it generic. The "thug #4" guy who was in every 80's movie that had an Asian bad guy in it. Didn't he also play Genghis Khan in Bill and Ted's? I think so. 4) I don't like cancer.

5) I often buckle under peer pressure.

6) I like milestone numbers.

Last month, I got an email from Doug. He's the big daddy 'round these internet parts, and when he speaks, people listen (he also has an excellent radio voice in real life, so that helps). It was a mass email to the dad blogging collective, inviting us to join his Movember Dadblogger team. Movember is like a walk for hunger thing, but instead of walking, men grow moustaches. And instead of hunger, the money raised goes toward supporting awareness, research and survivorship for prostate cancer and other men's health issues. In other words, a really good cause. While this email invoked fact #4 (not liking cancer), it head-on collided with facts 1 and 2 (I'm bad at facial hair and I don't do things I'm bad at). Since it was a mass email, I quietly let it sit in my inbox, unresponded to.

But Doug is a bugger, and wouldn't let me off that easy. He emailed me. Individually. When I provided the excuse that my facial hair grows in all scraggly like a Vegas morning-after, he assured me that the worst facial hair growers usually raised the most money. While those of you who read this blog know that I am never above making a fool of myself for your entertainment (related: I really hope you watched the final 40 seconds of the video in my last post), I need to look presentable for work (I sell software to government folks). So Doug backed off.

And then a series of events happened.

  • He recruited Shannon to join in on the goading. This went on for weeks with the two of them. Oh fact number 5 (peer pressure wimp), you are a scourge to my existence!
  • I saw Real Steel, and was reminded that Asian villains are cool. Fact #3, activate!
  • Yesterday (the final day to join), Doug tweeted that they were up to 49 members on the team. The next guy would make it an even 50 (milestone. dammit).

Almost villainesqueSo here I am. Movember Dadblogger Team member #50. Clean shaven and ready to exert all of my efforts into sprouting a few hairs on my face for a good cause. While I ask all of you for moral support in this endeavor, I would really love it if you could sponsor me. Any amount would make this embarrassment worthwhile. And if what Doug said about the worst hair growers bringing in the most cash is true, then my five errant whiskers will fund a hospital wing somewhere.

Click Here: Sponsor BusyDad's evil Asian moustache