Such Sweet Sorrow
Monday, January 7, 2008 Last night marked a sad milestone for Marcus. His lifelong confidant, a stuffed bunny named Bada, would spend one final night in his arms. We all knew it was imminent, but that did little to dull the pain. For half a decade, his plush pal was ever by his side, and the wear and tear simply took its toll. Rather than risk the trauma of his head falling off or his guts spilling out (the fabric holding Bada together is literally tissue-thin now), we decided it was time to retire him to an easier life atop a shelf in a hermetically sealed box frame. Marcus posed for one last picture with his friend, and I have to admit it was pretty heart wrenching, even if Bada is just an inanimate stuffed toy.
Fare thee well, my friend.
Marcus wanted to world to know what a special pal Bada was, so I told him I’d dedicate a post to him. Bada and Marcus, this is for you.
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Bada joined our household shortly after Marcus’s birth. He was a gift from my mother-in-law, purchased at a children’s boutique in France. Look at him, so plush, vibrant and full of stuffing!
Although baby Marcus had piles of stuffed animals, he took to Bada immediately. I credit Bada for making it so easy to get Marcus to sleep on his own (and through the night). We actually named him Floppy at first.
Once Marcus started talking, he started calling him Bada instead of Floppy. Only he knows why. Bada and Marcus were joined at the hip – or nose, or ear or however else he could drag him along.
We sent this picture to the Noukies website and won picture of the month.
They sent us a big plush animal. But as you can see here, he got a spot on the bed, but not in his heart.
Bada made the perfect travel companion, accompanying Marcus to all corners of the globe. It didn’t matter where Marcus lay his head down. As long as Bada was next to him, it was safe. Boston, the Philippines, Turkey, Germany, an inflatable boat...
With time and repeated washings, Bada suffered. Mom ironed numerous patches on his body as quickly as holes appeared. When patches no longer had solid fabric left to stick to, our friend Julia sewed him a custom sweat suit to cover his body, which extended his service a good year or two. Throughout this time, we prepared for the inevitable end by searching far and wide for a replacement Bada. Noukies is a Belgian company with minimal distribution in the US. My sister found a boutique in Boston that carried Noukies, but they didn’t carry Bada’s model (Bastile). Noukies couldn’t send us an international order. In the end, Lola (mother-in-law) came through and made the trip to France. Yes, Bada was that essential. Marcus renamed Bada “Original Bada” and new Bada became “New Bada.” As Original Bada’s understudy, New Bada went everywhere, tagging alongside Original Bada. New Bada had his moments, mostly filling in on more abrasive adventures, like going on day trips, fairs and such.
But as you can see, you can never really replace your first Bada.
Bada, we’ll miss you. Thank you for giving Marcus your all in the short time you were with us. He will always remember you.
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Reader Comments (38)
Awww, Jim. That post brought tears to my eyes. That's the sweetest post...sigh. I'm so sad for Fury...I bet your MIL will love to see this post.
Can't he just get one more Bada? The NEW new Bada?
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[BusyDad] Thanks BMGmom, I'm not usually one for sentimental posts, but his love for Bada was just so genuine that I had to show the world. New Bada is stepping in as best he can, but it will never be the same in Fury's eyes. In fact, we have an army of Noukie's animals now, but they really just sit on his bed.
Aw, poor little guy. That "last picture" is heartbreaking!! My four year old has a "blankie" that is starting to fall apart, and I know the day will come for him, too.
Great post, BD...one for the books!
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[BusyDad] Thanks Karen :) I know he'll always remember Bada. I had a blankie too, and I can still remember how it smelled.
Oh my, that was so sweet, it brought tears to my eyes.
I'm very glad to hear that Bada will be preserved and able to watch over Marcus from the shelf. Thanks to Marcus for letting you share Bada with us.
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[BusyDad] We couldn't bear to simply throw him away after all this time. That would be truly sad. Marcus will be happy that so many people were able to share in his story.
*sniff* He is a true warrior. Seems like Bada had a life worth living and had some truely awe-inspiring moments with your son. Great tribute dad. Fury will link to this post someday in the future, on his own blog!
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[BusyDad] Thanks Miss... yeah, Bada's literally been around the world with Fury. He's been trampled on, squished into luggage, thrown up on, you name it. Maybe Bada is short for Badass, because that's what he is!
Jim, that was a special post. I'm sad for Fury. Have you read, or heard of, the children's book "The Velveteen Rabbit"? The story pretty much echos what you shared. Just a quick excerpt from the book;
"Real isn't how you are made. It is a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time not just to play with, but really loves you,then you become real."
I hope Marcus sleeps well tonight.
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[BusyDad] Aw man... that just tugs at the heartstrings. How am I ever gonna put Bada in a box now without totally losing it?? That's the coolest quote and so fitting. The last time I had that book read to me was in 2nd grade and I had forgotten all about it.
Oh my... Here's to a happy retirement, Bada!
Oh and BusyDad, I'm officially limiting you to one "make me blubber and cry" post a month. This means January is covered, you hear?
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[BusyDad] I certainly hope that's the last one! For my sake as well. I'm getting sentimental about a toy! That's scary for me.
GREAT POST!!
Here's hoping Fury adjusts well enough but not so well that Bada loses a place in his heart. Sounds like something that you can bring out on his wedding day or something, or when he has his first child. A real heirloom.
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[BusyDad] Thanks PG - and great idea. I will definitely do that!!
aw bada!!! :( So sad!! Poor bada and fury! Yes, bada has been a real trooper. The kid in us always stays. Believe it or not lilo lilo is on my shelf back home wrapped around one of my stuffed animals. I can't believe that thing is older than me! Aw man, That's so sweet and sad.
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[Your Brother] You still have that?? I had no idea. Fury actually took it really well tonight. I need to go put Bada in the box later.
what a sweet post. None Of my kids have a special toy. Sometimes I wish they did!
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[BusyDad] Thanks Tiff... Bada did triple duty as his buddy, his pacifier and security blanket. A real renaissance bunny!
These inanimate objects do mean a lot to kids. I used to have a stuffed elephant whose articulated limbs were held together by knotted rope. He was stiff, hard, and wasn't the most cuddly thing in the world, but he was my "Bada". Although he's been lost to time for quite a number of years now I still remember him fondly.
Just out of curiosity, could Bada be kidtalk for brother/bruddah?
Cool post.
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[BusyDad] Thanks Mike... good theory about Bada's name. Maybe he was Hawaiian in a past life? :) I'd love to ask him about it, but it's been so long, he's probably forgotten how and why he came up with it.
I am literally tearing in my office. Mostly because even though it is the end of the ear for Bada, but it also shows just how quickly they grow. Watching Fury go from baby to "little man" was touching. And having you document his journey with his buddy is precious. And the first picture of Fury is just so sad. He looks heart broken. Great Post..
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[BusyDad] When I was putting this together, that's what struck me most - how quickly he's grown. When I see the baby pics, it's him, but it's not him, you know what I mean? If anything, it made me realize how meaningful this blog will be to me in a few years, when all this would otherwise be forgotten amidst the daily details of life (and him bugging me to buy him a car).
Oh Bada. My heart breaks for both Bada and Fury. He will always remember him, and I think Bada being able to watch on is a great thing.
So sweet, man, so sweet. You're a great dad, ya know.
P.S. Tagged ya!
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[BusyDad] Hey thanks Mishie :) Yeah, Bada will live a life of comfort, watching over Fury from his "corporate skybox suite."
That might be the sweetest post I've ever read. Wow! Are you planning to save Bada? I think it would be cool to preserve him for some future date when Marcus is older. BTW, those pictures are so adorable. Look at how little he once was. So cute! My thoughts are with Marcus and Bada as they both embark on new chapters. Sniff.
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[BusyDad] Thanks for the good thoughts, SWC... both are doing fine. Bada has a shadowbox (like a box frame with a glass cover) that he'll call home from this point on. He's too frail to brave the elements. We're gonna find a shelf in Marcus' room for him so he can just chill and watch Marcus grow.
I feel a Bionicle purchase coming up.
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[BusyDad] HAHAHAHAHA!!!! That just totally cracked me up. Funny how you can get to know the dynamic of a household just by following a blog. You kill me.
Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwe, I got tears in my eyes. Poor Marcus, Poor Bada. That was so sweet, and the pictures. Oh my.
You have such a wonderful way with words and I love your perspective, it's refreshing.
Thanks for sharing this glimpse into your lives.
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[BusyDad] Thanks Rachel - this one felt good to write. Bada has been a fixture in our household for so long that he deserved a decent send off. I'm just glad that so many people read this and could connect with the story.
Geez...I almost cried.
Kudos to Lola for going to France for New Bada though: that's love!
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[BusyDad] Seriously! Fury is the first grandkid on both sides. He's also the first kid out of my group of friends. He is the center of attention and the receiver of insane truckloads of presents.
Aww, this is sooo sweet! I wish my son took to something as cute as Bada... unfortunately, Spider-man isn't quite as cuddly.
I found your blog through Secret Agent Mama, and I believe I am hooked... I subscribed to your feed.
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[BusyDad] Thanks for visiting! Secret Agent Mama rocks. I'm glad you enjoy my blog. Spiderman's cool - but yeah, kind of hard to cuddle with.
This post is just so sweet. You brought tears to my eyes. Bye bye Bada. You will always be loved. :)
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[BusyDad] Yeah... that tattered little guy has even grown on me. I didn't put him in the box yet, and last night when I was contemplating doing it, I looked at him wistfully and actually said "you did good big fella." Out loud!!
I can totally identify with Fury...I still have my teddy bear from when I was a kid. Of course, it is now sitting on a shelf in my son's nursery - I want to pass it on to him when he gets just a little older!
On another note, I FINALLY completed the meme you tagged me with...sorry I took so long (um, my dog ate it?)....
Take care!
His2Dads
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[BusyDad] That's really special, but definitely waits until he's older. I recently gave Fury a toy (toy Saab) that I had since I was 3. I think I jumped the gun on it though, because it kind of fell apart when Fury played demolition derby with it. Dog ate your meme eh? Hmmm, my mom's a teacher. Let me see if that excuse holds any water.
Gulp. What are you going to do about this big, fat lump in my throat?! That's just the sweetest thing I've ever seen.
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[BusyDad] All I can say is me too! That picture says it all to me.
Hey BD! Very good tribute to Fury's friend! Love the pics! I especially like the inflatable boat pic. Inflatable boats are comfy! I would sleep in one any day...preferably on a lake in the middle of nowhere though, but the living room floor would do :D
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[BusyDad] It does look mighty comfy doesn't it? And you can't roll off. I smell a marketing opportunity :)
What a wonderful post! Bada was most certainly loved!
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[BusyDad] I just always took Bada for granted as Fury's all-the-time accessory. It wasn't until I sat down and wrote this that I realized how integral he was in Fury's life. Locking him in that box will be so hard.
I had a bunny when I was a little girl...I named it "puberty" because I thought it was a lovely word. Puberty disappeared long before it was threadbare, I don't think my Mom could handle the embarrassment.
Beautiful post...RIP Bada, you'll be loved forever.
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[BusyDad] Thanks Piper, I know Fury will be happy to know so many people are wishing Bada a fond farewell. (Puberty?? that's hilarious!! Putting Puberty in a Box wouldn't be half as hard. I'd probably laugh, due to its similarity to a popular SNL skit song.)
Awww :( What if Fury decorated the box on the inside so it could be Bada's new apartment? Maybe that would help?
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[BusyDad] That is a great idea! Maybe he'd be willing to loan him some Star Wars figures? You know, so Bada can play poker with them or something.
Love this post! Goodbye, Bada! You were well loved, indeed!
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[BusyDad] :) If Bada only knew. You know what? I'm going to read all these comments to Marcus tonight. He'll love it!
Whew. For a moment there I was afraid Bada was going to end up like Old Yeller.
A box in the closet is certainly more dignified than, well... you know.
RIP Bada.
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[BusyDad] Hey thanks for visiting my site. A box in the closet is definitely less messy and dramatic!
This is one of the sweetest posts I've read in a long time. Nice pictures, too. Do post one of Bada's final resting place.
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[BusyDad] Thanks! And that's a great idea. I told Fury he could help decorate Bada's retirement home. We'll see what he comes up with. Actually, it'll be fun, like a time capsule of sorts.
*sniff*....I'm not crying. I'm not crying...Okay..I'm crying. That was the sweetest dedicated post to a lovey I've ever read! You did an amazing job showing us how special Bada's life really was....loved this post :)
BTW...we also tried to get a backup for our daughter's blanket (an exact replica)..but like Marcus, she knew and has never taken to it like the original... :(
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[BusyDad] :) Thank you Sandy. Funny you guys tried the same thing to no avail. Did our parents jump through crazy hoops like that, or is it just our generation?
Awww Man! Now you made us ALL cry.I know what you mean about it being Marcus but "not".I'ts the same here with "The Boy".
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[BusyDad] I used to think that the phrase "they grow up before your very eyes" was just a parental cliché. But that is literally the case. If you're not snapping pictures and saving memories every month, you'll miss the whole thing. Totally nuts. Makes you feel old just thinking about how time just whizzes on by.
Oh. He finally retired. I am honored to have made him his custom suit. Brought tears to my eyes man. I'm at work for God sake! I hope that he remembers the precious times with Original Bada and makes many more memories with New Bada.
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[BusyDad] Thanks again for making that. It really did prolong the retirement for a while. Eventually the elastics broke and the clothes just wouldn't stay on easily, which meant Bada was always shedding his clothes, which led to more wear and tear. But that bunny had a damn good run.
Well, it's official. I have become a complete sap. The other day, I was practically SOBBING over a story about a Boy Scout saving the life of the president of the Maldives, and now I'm crying over a kid's woobie. Not even MY kid's woobie. Wait... my kid doesn't have one. That's probably why I'm crying -- I WISH Kiddo had a buddy like this!
Great tribute. May Bada rest happily and be adored from afar forever.
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[BusyDad] It is a beautiful thing indeed, Deb. But damn, this sappiness that I am spreading is killing what little "tough guy" rep I've managed to build. I saw that article too. What a kick ass kid! Fury's been asking me if he can join the scouts.
I love this, BD. I've let my kids pick their favorite lovies, and I enjoy watching them pour their hearts into these precous soft pals. For us, it's blankets. We take them everywhere, church, out to eat, preschool, etc. The look pretty rough, but that's the beauty of childhood. Thanks for this.
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[BusyDad] It was my (actually Fury's) pleasure to share this. He was actually quite happy that so many people wrote in on this one. I read all the comments to him the other night. I remember my blankie clear as day, and that was 30+ years ago!
My goodness, that was such a sweet post. Got me all teary eyed. My little one is 3 months now and he hasn't gotten attached to any stuffed toy quite yet. It will be interesting if he does.
In all the pictures I can see that Bada was really loved.
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[BusyDad] Thanks for visiting my blog :) or delurking... either way, I'm happy. Anyway, 3 months is a bit early for that, I think. If I remember correctly, it wasn't until about 6 months that Fury became attached to Bada. Bada was always around him, but their bond really solidified around then.
what a sweet post. i'm going to have to do the same thing at one point...in the not to near future, i hope! my 2.5 year old has a chenille blanket (a little 18 inch square one) that is called his "goggie". he's had it since he was 3 months old, and it has been through the wringer! we had the foresight to buy a couple of backups, but unfortunately Walmart stopped selling them...and they were Walmart's own brand, so they weren't sold anywhere else. all three goggies are in circulation. when one needs to go in the wash, a fresh one comes out. he has it with him all. the. time. when he goes to bed. when he goes visiting. when he's playing with his trucks. he loves that thing.
now we just have to wait and see how long they will last!
great idea, having him framed where he can be protected, and Marcus can still see him!
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[BusyDad] You're smart for having bought some backups already. You're very unlucky that Walmart stopped selling them! Maybe check France? ;) May your goggies hold strong for years to come. But speaking from personal experience (I had a googie blanket too), even if that blanket is a shred of its former self, it will still be 100% effective in the comfort and soothe dept.
Sniff, Sniff... That was a touching post...
My 8 year old still carries her original silkie bunny around. She will not depart from that..
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[BusyDad] I wish silkie a long life and durable stitching!
all together now... awwwww... that post was awesome... makes me tear up thinking about my eldest having to someday retire her precious "tigoo"... it also makes me want to dig out my own sad, thin, many times washed, many times repaired blankie... great writing...
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[BusyDad] Thanks Kate -- I wish I knew where mine was. All these people commenting about their own blankies has made me think a lot about my own. Maybe my mom boxed it up? Hopefully?