Reconnecting
Friday, August 27, 2010 Last weekend, I flew home to Boston. I didn't gather up the wife and kiddies, didn't call a bunch of friends in town, didn't make plans to hit all my favorite eateries, didn't do much more than pack a black suit and a toothbrush, really. I flew home to pay respects to my grandfather, who had just passed away.
Grandpa savored life. He loved his family, loved a bloody prime rib, loved riding his bikes, and loved a good bargain. A true weekend yardsale marauder, he was. Where do you think he bought all those assorted bikes? As sad as we were that he was no longer with us, we looked upon this as a chance to spend time together as a solid branch of the family tree that he and my grandma nurtured for over a half a century.
Because it was long overdue.
This picture below? Has never happened in our family history. All five of his grandchildren in one place at the same time. We've always been too busy living our respective lives in Houston, San Francisco, Los Angeles, Boston and who knows where else to let our grandma smell-kiss all our heads and take a picture with her.
By the way, it totally messes with your mind when you find out that the cousin you haven't seen since she was 3 is now an architect (top right).
It's also quite awesome to be able to buy your cousins a round of brews in Harvard Square.
And then take them to check out your freshman dorm, regaling them with tales of... well not much actually. College wasn't all it was cracked up to be. But being on campus after not setting foot on its hallowed grounds for 16 years (stop doing math in your head. I'm just old, ok?) really rocked. As I'm trying to pantomime below.
Being home also meant spending quality time with mom. Here's me going to the pub, while mom waits in the car.
Before you all throw internet rocks at me, I did invite her to come with. This was the night she was shuttling everyone from the airport, and we had 20 minutes to kill before we had to get my sister. She knows I need my Guinness. And she just wanted to rest. We both got what we wanted.
It was also quite amusing to see my old room. Since moving out in 1990, my mom has turned my room into her office. But she kept my posters on the wall, like an embarrasing time capsule.
If you follow me on Twitter, you may have seen me talking about what a gigantic fish nerd I am. Well, here's proof:
Freshwater Bass of Norh America, yo. Ladies, control yourselves.
This one actually redeems my hip cred a little bit. A flyer I took from a club when I saw Social Distortion in the early 90's.
I had a Facebook page in 1990. This one had staples in it, and it was really hard to change your profile pic. Otherwise, I totally would have.
Whenever I go home to Boston, I have to bring back one thing: a decent cannoli. This means that I dragged my cousins under the guise of sightseeing to the North End, Boston's version of Little Italy. The North End is beautiful. Here's a thousand words to describe it:
But of course, it's also a tourist attraction, so that means lots of restaurants with TVs... playing every iconic "Italian American" movie ever made, on repeat.
These damn tourists also make it as hard to buy a cannoli as it is to ride Space Mountain. This meant there was no way I was going to subject my cousins to it. This decision was followed by the customary "no cannoli for me" version of that scene from Platoon.
Upon picking up on my subtle despair, my cousin Laurinda said "Wait. You were on a food mission? I didn't realize this was a food mission. I never give up on a food mission! We're going to wait in line!"
We are family. All my crazy cousins and me.
Because you have to be, in order to wait in a line like this for a pastry item.
Well, not exactly "a"... make that a whole stinkin' box of 20!!
We ate well that night. On the sidewalk. And people actually tried to buy some from me. I told them they could have my cannoli when they pried it out of my cold sticky hands.
The next morning, I said goodbye to my house...
And my city...
... and returned home.
Come on kids! We've gone over this. The "Children of Asian parents" contract clearly stipulates Ivy League souvenir clothing items in the Terms and Conditions.
Grandpa, thank you for giving us the strong roots to make all this possible.
In memory of Cheng-Hwa Lin 1916 - 2010
Reader Comments (33)
I absolutely love this post. It was emotional enough so that I shed a little tear. Your grandmother must have been so happy to have you all together like that, to remember your grandfather, and then... you made me smile with "Here's me going to the pub, while mom waits in the car." Classic! I can't wait to wait in the car for my boys as they go drinking without me. And you like the Cult, so you're cool.
Dude, I am coming out of my internet vaca/hibernation just for you. To say that this post? It is awesome. Once again, you make me laugh and cry.
And oh god, that last photo? Killed me.
Blessings to your whole family Jim. -Christine
Cannoli's from Mike's? The best.
Sorry about your grandpa. It's hard when we lose loved ones.
I think, if I did the math right - yes I did the math, that you're only slightly older then I. Thereby, you are NOT old b/c I am NOT old. Got it? Good!
Thank you for ending that the way you did so I could remember that I was laughing so hard I was crying at your grandfather's eulogy. Really, you're the best.
Sorry to hear about your grandfather but it looks like you celebrated his life well all together. I think that's what it should be all about. Great post.
Also, I love Boston. What a great place.
You just went up a couple of notches, due to that Social D gig poster.
I'm not sure if I like the fish poster or the Social D poster better. Glad you got your cannoli. You should have told them to "take the cannoli and leave the suitcase.
You just gave 5,000 amazing words to one of my favorite quotes: when a loved one becomes a memory, that memory becomes a treasure. So many treasures you have now, my friend!
Oh...and that James Lin guy was pretty much a hard-ass, huh? ;-)
Sorry about your grandfather. This got me SO excited to leave for Boston in the morning! can't wait!
So sorry for your loss, Jim. No matter how full their lives, it's hard to let someone go...
I can never eat a canoli again without picturing your platoon pose... Thanks for that.
And my poor children of caucasian parents; they get hand me down sweatshirts from the local community college. Damn.
Why you make me teary at work?! rrrr. but glad you posted, I'll forward this to the rest of the pack! :)
As for fury and lessi, hahaha poor things! We'll have to get lessi a big crimson bow. You know you have to send that into your alumni news pics.
And I want more pastries now...I can smell them from the pics. Man, all the cannolis were divvied up (called mom to make sure none were left in either fridge) I didn't get a tupperware to bring back. boo!
but yay wai gong, I'm sure he was happy we were all there. :)
Ok, tears on that last line. What a beautiful celebration of his life and of time with your family. Thank you for sharing. PS. I saw Social Distortion last year for the first time. Thought they were just OK until I saw them live - now, I love them!
Awesome, dude. Completely awesome. And...I'm sending my husband to the long ass line for cannolis on his way home from work next week. He has you to thank;)
Jim, I love this post (like everyone else...I'm unoriginal like that). I'm sorry your grandpa is gone but am glad y'all got to reunite like this and that you honored his memory in this fashion. Also? I totally wish I could walk through the house I grew up in again and see things as they used to be now. Sadly, my folks sold the house we lived in from '83 til I left in '93 in '04 when they retired. I don't think the new occupants would let me hang my old posters of Olympic wrestlers back on the wall so that I can take pictures of them for my blog.
Thank you, Mr. Cheng-Hwa for giving us Jim. May God rest your soul.
Jim what a great post. I am sad for your families loss. I love the pictures though, especially of the kids. Hysterical. Boston is in my top3 favorite cities, though I've only been once, and have declared that it is acceptable in terms of Cities Princess Traci Would Relo To.
Holy God.
I am sorry for your family's loss.
So glad you got to spend some good times with your family. It's always nice to reconnect with family you rarely get to see, even when the reason is not ideal. Sounds like you found lots of great ways to honor and remember your grandfather!
What a great tribute to your grandfather. And that line at Mike's is unreal, but I'm sure it was worth it.
What a nice looking family. I'm sorry for your loss, but it looks like your Grandfather left behind a legacy of gifts for generations to come. I hope those canolli were as tasty as they looked. A good canolli is hard to find.
Hey Jim, sorry for your loss, but wow, your Grandfather left a wonderful legacy! And thanks for the tour of your hometown - we were there with the kids a couple of weeks ago, and visited Harvard - I thought about you but did not know about the Asian parents contract re: Ivy League paraphernalia- although I did leave the city feeling a bit empty-handed. Now I know why ... blame it on the whitey husband :).
I did do the classic Asian thing though - took a photo of my kid next to Harvard's statue, telling him he should come back with a full scholarship.
You've all done your Grandfather proud; may he rest in peace.
I'm sorry to hear about your loss. I hope this was the first of many reunions to come.
Dude.........I saw listed on your Social Distortion flyer Mojo Nixon on the bill. Local boy.....saw him many times. Sorry to hear about your Grandfather. Peace, Mike.
Dear Jim,
Grandpa is in a better place riding his bike now. In heaven, he must be very happy to know that all his grandchildren got reconnected and each one, . so outstanding and awesome.
Love, mom
I am sorry for the loss of your grandfather.
Thank you for posting this. What a touching and wonderful read. You seem like you have a wonderful family experience and are continuing it in your own!
This was funny and incredibly touching at the same time. I'm so sorry for your loss.
I laughed so hard at the subhead on the photo of the kids in their matching Harvard shirts that my husband came over to see what was so funny. My husband not only buys things for the kids every time he's in Boston, he has other people pick up things for them when THEY visit. One of his coworkers just brought back a Harvard cheerleader outfit for our daughter. I defiled it by putting a Buzz Lightyear tramp stamp on my daughter's back and taking photos. I'll send the cheerleading uniform and the tattoos to your wife when C. grows out of it.
P.S. This was a lovely tribute. Hugs.
What an absolutely AWESOME tribute and thanks for sharing a little piece of, well, everything that makes your blog so gosh-darned enjoyable to visit!!
I'm sorry to hear about your grandfather. It does sound like, in his passing, he was able to smile on his family.
I'm not sure how I missed this post. Your grandpa looks like a real cool man. The last photo is amazing.
Also, so much Asian in one post, can't. take. it.
Peace be, Jim's grandpa.
Hey Busy!
It's been a long time! Was just catching up when I stumbled upon your blog...
While this post made me slightly nostalgic for my own "coming of age" years, I gotta say I am slightly jealous! Real canolli? Growing up in po-dunk Montana, I had a slightly "less cultured" experience...like instead of canolli, people like the whole "rocky mountain oysters" thing...
Anyway, my condolences to you and your family for your loss! Its the special people in our lives that are our greatest treasures. And, with that being said, congratulations on your daughter!
Keep on rockin' man! It's a pleasure to read you again!