Tales
From The Dadside
Entries from October 1, 2007 - November 1, 2007
BusyDad Halloween Pics
A fun time was had by all (well, maybe not the dog). Candy was plentiful and the weather was warm. The Force was with us.
Was it worth buying all sorts of random stuff from eBay, Jo-Ann Fabrics, the Army Navy Store, Home Depot and Chick's Sporting Goods (a real police duty belt, an airline seatbelt belt, a kid's karate outfit, athletic tape, nylon webbing, spray paint etc.), discovering I can't sew worth a damn, and taking 2 hours off of work (which I just had to make up now from home after trick or treating) for just a few hours of dress up fun? HELL YEAH!!
Happy Halloween from the Galactic Empire
For some mysterious reason, my street gets no Halloween traffic. In the four years we have lived there, we have given out a total of maybe one handful of fun size Snickers. For this reason, I find it a shame that my pumpkin creations shine their lights for no one. This year, I would like to give them their turn in the spotlight. Indulge them please...
Crossing Over
How do you define a parent? Of course, there’s the biological way, but if our celebrity counterparts have taught us anything this year, a 40 lb. DNA match and Bugaboo stroller a true parent does not make. No, to be a real parent you need to get into character a tad more (ironic isn’t it?). How do you know when you’ve successfully crossed over and truly embraced the biggest role of your life? This is my list.
Like Taking Candy to a Daddy
I really need to start playing Sodoku or something. Anything to kick-start the neurons in this once-glorious dad brain. For five years, I have been coasting on the assumption that I am too sharp to be intentionally duped by my kid. As my posts have demonstrated, I’ve been wrong. But yesterday, Marcus reached a new low (or high, depending on which side you’re on). He has now taken to brazenly rope-a-doping me.
We’ve just finished dinner and it’s time to wind down for the night. Ten minutes playtime, shower, book, bed. For finishing all his veggies, I let him have a piece of candy from his candy jar. He finishes his candy, and I start looking for the timer to begin his 10 minutes. As I start getting up, he brings me a bag of sour gummy bears. Without a word, he carefully undoes the twisty and places the open bag in front of me.
“Oh! I totally forgot I had these! And you even opened them for me!” I grab four and pop them into my mouth. I love sour gummy bears.
“Gotcha Dad.”
“Huh?”
“Gotcha.”
“What?”
Marcus walks away. I look in the bag. No ants. The gummy bears taste fine. Kids – always saying random stuff. I shove more gummies in my mouth. Time passes. I’ve made a pretty nice dent in the bag. Ok, let’s find that timer.
I locate the timer and walk up to Marcus, who is playing quietly with his Optimus Prime.
“Ok – ready for your 10 minutes?”
“Gotcha, Dad.”
“Gotcha what! Why do you keep saying gotcha?”
“… because I knew those were your favorite, and if you were busy eating them I would get more time to play.”
I look at the clock. Bugger got 15 extra minutes from that little scam.
Meme in, Meme out
Ah, the dreaded meme. I have to be honest and say that I liked this. Being tagged by a fellow blogger wasn't bad at all. If this were my gang, I got ‘beat in’ today. Now that Joeprah has vouched for me, any lame post I make from here on out will reflect badly on him. Hey, but that’s how it goes in the ‘sphere.
Guerrilla Counter-Whining Tactics
Let’s get my disclaimer out of the way first. Whenever possible, I follow the accepted protocols of parenting. To borrow a term from the search engine optimization world, I do my best to keep it whitehat. Above the belt. Geneva Convention. But as every dad knows, these adversaries we call our children are a reckless bunch, often flagrantly disregarding our accepted rules of engagement. We don’t like to do it, but in the name of maintaining family sanity, we must occasionally don the ski masks, shed the dog tags and regulate. The following techniques are straight from my black book of parenting techniques, section C-47: Counter-Whining Tactics. Warning: may cause post-traumatic guilt syndrome.
The Practice Pumpkin Revisited
I wanted to jump on here real quick to let all you parents know about a serendipitous discovery that came about as a result of initiating the "Practice Pumpkin" tradition last week. If you pre-empty a pumpkin and let it sit in the fridge hollow for a couple days, it softens up real nice. For those of you with young kids, this will make the carving process a lot easier. Even with kid-friendly tools, carving a fresh pumpkin requires the exertion of a lot of force at very unstable angles. By dry aging your pumpkin first, nobody loses an eye except for ol' Jack.
How soft, how squishy, how Dahmer-esque...
The Busy Dad Confessional
Being a kick-ass dad does not necessarily mean being a model parent. Maybe this is why generations before us never let dads do the child rearing. Well wake up people! It's a new age - one with better therapists and self-help websites ... just in case.
No time for a haircut? Have fun with it!
We've been meaning to get Marcus' hair cut for about 3 weeks, but something always comes up. Rather than fret about the fact that he's begining to resemble one of the original Bad News Bears, I've learned to have fun with it. We've been playing "Elvis Hairdo," making faux hawks and doing it up Alfalfa style every night after his shower. Yesterday, I outdid myself. I had to show my newest creation: WOLVERINE!! Does this kick ass or what! Although Halloween night is already decided (we're going as Luke and Han Solo), he still has his kindergarten dress up during the day. I'm thinking a little biker jacket, some cardboard claws and boots would make for the baddest costume in school!
The Musical Misery Tour
"Music hath charms to soothe a savage beast" but music lessons hath potential to thoroughly bore the average child. There's no doubt that music lessons can enhance a child's cognitive and creative abilities. Just make sure you don't drive the kid nuts with all that enhancing.
Jacked O' Lantern
I think I started a tradition that has potential to become a worldwide Halloween phenomenon for families with kids. It has all the makings of one: it’s low cost, fun for the kids, hands-on, and incorporates the true spirit of the holiday, which in this case means hacking stuff up with cutting implements. Remember folks, it’s not always about the candy.
BusyDad
in Dad Gets Duped, Tips & Tricks
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"And We Like to Drink Our Milk From a Mason Jar..."
There’s nothing like catching a live band in a rowdy bar. Bikers, beer and … kids? Yup, if my son gets picked up by the law on the day of his junior high graduation for starting a bar fight, I can look back on this day as the tipping point. Video clip.
BusyDad
in Videos, Stories and Adventures
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You're Nobody 'Till Some Potty Loves You
A friend of mine recently posted in my guestbook about potty tips. As I wrote him back, it surprised me how little I actually remembered about the whole experience. Even though Marcus has the basics down, my dad life still very much revolves around potty-related practices. So, before these are forever lost, I wanted to get them on paper.