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What, Me Paddle?

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BusyDad’s reality check
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Friday
Feb152008

Leap of Faith #3: 4 Days, 4 Theme Parks, 3 Kids… Buckle Up.

Leap%20Of%20Faith%2008.jpgAs some of you know, I spent most of this week in Orlando, Florida. I was lucky enough be invited as part of a media showcase (no, not for this blog! I'm not -- nor will I ever get -- THAT big! But I appreciate the fleeting "how in the Hell?" thought that crossed your mind, if it did).

Marcus, d Wife and I tagged along with my good friend Lolita and her 2 sons Jaden and Jack on this crazy 4-day whirlwind Disney parks adventure. Because Lolita would be occupied during daytime hours with promotional shoots, voiceovers and such, her battle-tested nanny Helen accompanied us in her place during our park-hopping adventures.

And We're Off!
The trip starts out perfectly. Why? I get assigned a seat in the last row. Just me and my laptop, a full battery, iPod, and plenty of blogging time. Wait - where are the kids? In the front row. Rock on, kiddos.

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One post, a Heineken (no Newcastle on Delta Airlines) and a short nap later, we touch down. Hellooooo Orlando!!

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Disney World Magic Kingdom
We’re shuttled to our hotel (The Disney Saratoga Springs Resort & Spa) with the insane efficiency that only Disney (or a small totalitarian regime) could pull off, and then whisked off to the Pirates & Princesses party at the Magic Kingdom. As we pull into the park, we’re greeted by a grand fireworks display. The kids are in awe. “Cool! It’s like missiles!” exclaims Marcus, as he goes into space battle mode.

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It’s about 10pm. My last bite of solid food was a bowl of Cheerios at 7am. The grownups agree “We want food!” The kids beg to differ “We want swords!” Eventually, everyone is satisfied.

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What’s the best way to unwind after a long flight and some old fashioned swashbuckling? Duh! A Jacuzzi tub, of course!

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Disney Hollywood Studios
We get an early start. It’s our first day out and spirits are high. Hey cool! Our first Disney character run-in. Sure, he’s a side character, but it’s still pretty cool right? “Well, his feet aren’t connected!” At least Marcus can legitimately claim “detail-oriented” on his resume...

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Ok, Mr. Detail Oriented, how’s this? Does that rockin' soundtrack sound familiar? Who’s coming down the street?

“NO WAY!!!”
“Yes way, son.”

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We scramble to buy Disney autograph books because the Power Rangers are just “Too freakin’ cool! Just too freakin’ cool.”

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And you can’t pass this up either.

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Ok, ok, I know this is totally anti-climactic, son, but do this for your old man. I notice a lot of other dads doing the same. Hmm...

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Cool! A Muppets 3-D movie. I gotta see that. d Wife is loving it. Total veto from the kids. Shot. Down. Youngsters... no respect for the old school. Who cares about hand puppets when you’ve got CGI? Ok, I admit it. Seeing Mater and Lightning McQueen roll through the gates revving their engines was pretty damn cool.

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My favorite attraction? The Lights! Motors! Action! Extreme Stunt Show. I have never seen crazy driving like this. And I grew up in Boston, and have visited China, Turkey and the Philippines.

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... but when you gotta nap, you gotta nap. Explosions, screeching tires and gun shots be damned.

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Disney’s Animal Kingdom
Serendipitous parenting tip: how do get three boys to listen to your every command? Bring in the Ninja Master. Remember those swords from the first night? Well, someone schooled in the ways of swordsmanship needs to teach the young warriors how to wield their weapons, right? Teach them a few useful tricks such as the “Ninja run” —running with arms and blade pointing behind you to avoid falling on your sword— and they’ll be wide-eyed and ready, awaiting your next command. Useful ones: “Stealth Mode” a.k.a. be quiet, and “Ninja Chain” a.k.a. hold hands and follow me. Skillfully demonstrated by my apprentices below:

FloridaNinjaTeam.JPG

And it’s really quite awesome to have three kids calling you Master in public.

So, about the park. There are Disney characters walking about the premises. We did not know this. The kids were told to leave their autograph books at home. Oops. Grown-up credibility score takes a hit.

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Before park fatigue sets in, we trek directly to the main attraction: the Kilimanjaro Safari, an open air ride through the wild savannah. No one wants to sit by the edge. Lions.

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What a ride! Crocodiles, giraffes, elephants and a whole cast of animals. It’s like the Lion King, but live.

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All the trappings of wild Africa. Termite hills, indigenous plant life, authentic landscape... an orange tree?? I guess the savannah could use a little citrus.

Ok! We’re on a roll. What next? How about the Gorilla exhibit? Aha! The missing evolutionary links.

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Going smoothly! Let’s go visit DinoLand USA!!

“No...”
“WHAT?”
“Too scary.”

I am shocked. These kids play with dinosaur toys all day long and they want to skip the dinosaur exhibit? I wait a few minutes. This time with a bit more punch.

“Oh! DinoLand USA! We’ve GOT to go there!”
“No...”

Frustration sets in. “What about the River Ride?”
“No.”
“The train?”
“No.”

“How about this? It’s a movie with the Bug's Life characters – It’s Tough to be a Bug?”
“Noooo, that sounds scary.”

Ok, time for me to put the foot down.

“You are ALL going to watch It’s Tough to be a Bug. It’s NOT scary. It will be fun. And you will enjoy it, whether you want to or not!”

We march in. 3-D glasses are handed out. Kids are in a foul mood. Dad is glad to get the chance to sit down.

“Are you sure this isn’t scary?”

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This movie starts out ok. Oh look! Flick from A Bug’s Life is hosting it. The 3-D begins. Cute butterflies! Catch them!

Now introducing the Termite. He can spray acid in an attacker’s face. Wanna see? LOUD spraying noise. 3-D acid drops fly toward us. Water cannons shoot water at us. Kids. Frozen in terror.

My weak “heh heh wasn’t that SOOO funny?? That was water!” is met with disdain.

EXPLOSION! Stage right. A giant animatronic version of Hopper (the scary bad guy of course) appears. He’s hell bent on destroying us humans. Great. The kids are curled up in balls at this point.

TCCHCHHH!! A fog envelops the room. I literally cannot see 6 inches in front of me. I look over at the kids. Can’t see them. But I can hear them. Scared out of their wits. I look up as the smoke clears. Giant Black Widow Spiders descend. Luckily, the kids are too scared to notice.

Grown up credibility score: effectively obliterated for the day.

Let’s go back to the hotel and play water wars. But not before hearing the term “terrifying” uttered about 2 dozen times throughout the ride back.

Washing away the monster bug terror feeling.

 FloridaWaterBattle.jpg

 

End of the night. Dad needs a drink. Helen needs a break. d Wife is passed out. I catch up with Lolita. After a day of filming promos “Disney style” (waaay too happy for mere mortals), Lolita needs a drink. We gather the kids and head over to the lounge. Marcus and Jaden find something to do.

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And Jack? Well, he’s obviously in a Disney mood. Let him entertain you (watch this video – it is too killer cute/funny):

Epcot
“There are no scary rides at Epcot!”

I need to establish that fact. Several times. Kids are still skeptical. It’s also raining on and off. This poses a new challenge.

The Seas with Nemo and Friends is our first stop. Hey look! It’s Nemo and his Dad!

“No, that’s not Nemo,” observes Marcus. “This one doesn’t have a lucky fin.”
I see Quality Control Manager in his future.

FloridaNemo.JPG

Next ride? I’m picking the tamest ride on the map. A tour through Epcot’s biodome, where they experiment with green food-cultivation technologies such as hydroponics and aquaculture. Kids never cease to amaze me. They LOVE the ride. We’re just looking at vegetables grow! And although the fish farm is pretty cool...

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It kind of looks like a bigger version of the Chinese market near our house:

Floridabass.jpg
Ranch 99 Market, Arcadia, CA

It begins to pour.

“Ok kids, let’s just head back to the hotel and swim.” (they’re wet anyway).
“YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!”

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I swear... if we had to actually pay for admission, I’d be wringing more than your wet jeans, kids!

The Last Day
Extreme park fatigue has set in. Too much junk food, not enough sleep. Tempers are short. A good day to head home. But first we must get through breakfast...

Food hasn’t yet arrived and we’ve got ourselves a time out already. Marcus is not amused that I feel the need to capture the moment.

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No one is amused. At anything.

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Jaden: Marcus, I drew you a picture, do you like it?
Marcus: No! The teeth look weird.
Jaden: Fine! [makes a few minor adjustments] Jim, look what I made you.

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Let’s end this on a high note, shall we? Let’s go swimming!!
And as before, it’s all good. We should have just spent 3 days swimming. At least I can drink beer and sit down.

Ahh... quality time!

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Nothing says vacation quite like a hot tub. Yo! Where the ladies at?

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That’s better. Say hi to Helen, Jaden and Jack’s supernanny.

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And with that, we bid adieu to the Magical World of Walt Disney!

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*Sigh* I know, son. I know. I gotta be at work in less than 12 hours.

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Reader Comments (41)

Looks like you guys had a blast - and how cute was him singing! I love how he says 'Show-dahs'.

:)
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[BusyDad] As far as 3 year olds go, I haven't met a more animated, cute or funny kid.

February 15, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMaria [Immoral Matriarch]

I tried cramming Disney in 3 days with little ones too. Was NOT a good time!
Dude, Marcus keeps you away from all the good rides! Indiana Jones and now, I'm guessing you didn't get to ride Dinosaur? That ride is awesome!
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[BusyDad] hahaha - so true. Total ride-blocker!

February 15, 2008 | Unregistered Commenteramy

Sounds like an absolute blast! YOu got some great photos too. :)
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[BusyDad] It was definitely fun. Thoroughly exhausting, but fun. Killer exhausting...

February 15, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCableGirl

I love me a good photo essay. Especially one that makes my trip to Disney with 2 kids seem not that exhausting, even though Husband was at a work conference for three days and I had the kids on my own. My secret? We spent three days at the pools! :) Seriously. We only went to the park one day. In our defense, our kids are much younger (then only 1 and 3 yrs) -- and we were paying for park tickets for ourselves, which meant we would have had to sell the baby to afford a second day for the rest of us.

Anyway, thanks for the great first stop...blog hopping along...
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[BusyDad] Trust me, if we actually had to pay for admission, it would have been 3 days of hotel pool. They actually had the most fun while swimming anyway. And a lot less movement on my part.

February 15, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMartiniTime

Oh, if I had known you would be in my neck of the woods, I would of totally told you to stay away from Bug's Life. I learned that one the hard way, too!

Looks like you all had a great time though...
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[BusyDad] Oh! I totally forgot you were in FL! Funny, you would never think that a ride starring Flick would be so traumatizing!

February 15, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterboogiemum

Holy cow you did a lot with those littlun's!

And don't worry that your kids were terrified of the "Bugs Life In 3-D -- my three year old is afraid of Baby Einsteins DVD's -- specifically, the "Baby Mozart" but he doesn't like any of them... says they're scary and cries and cries when I play them (of course I only play them when he ASKS -- glutton for punishment, he is).

Anyway, I've picked up some tips for our trip there in July (I know, who does Florida in July? Friends from UK are coming... they're in for a shock) Anyway....

Super cute pictures and that video is way cute!
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[BusyDad] Thanks! Yeah, Stunt Show: Rocks. Flick's Bug thing - might as well lock the kids in a closet with 50 snakes. July? Good luck!!

February 15, 2008 | Unregistered Commentermimipz5wjj

I love the progression from bliss to utter despair. I think you nailed it!

And hey....welcome home!
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[BusyDad] Nice to be back, where I have some semblance of control. hmm... I never intended this post to be metaphorical, but I guess it works ;)

February 15, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMs. Cellaneous

Whew! I'm exhausted just reading this! Sounds like you had a great and memorable time!!

I had a similar "Bug's Life Trauma" when I went with my daughter 2 years ago. She spent the entire show curled up in a ball in my mom's lap and she still talks about how scary it was to this day!
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[BusyDad] That is SO funny. Just in these few comments, I think like 3 others have experienced this trauma. Well, at least Disney knows now! I really thought it was just us.

February 15, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJenn

Seriously... those are some cute kids. And what hams! All of them. Great pictures. I am so glad my kids don't read blogs cause they would be seething with jealously.
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[BusyDad] When they get along, this is the coolest bunch of kids to hang with. But there were times when they all hated each other and all hell would break loose. Then 5 minutes later they were best friends again. Then 10 minutes later... ALL week long. More ups and downs than Space Mountain. Kids - gotta love em!!

February 15, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterohmommy

wow...i had no idea how action packed the days were! Glad I only made my cameos in the evening for dinner and drinks at the lounge ;) So happy you all could join us. My favorite part was going to the spa with Lisa!
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[BusyDad] Drinks at the lounge helped me power through it for sure! I need to schedule a barstool day if we ever do it again :)

February 15, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLolita

We have avaoided Disney as a family thus far. I am afraid someone would not survive. My 2 oldest have been with the grandparents though.

Blog Hoppin'
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[BusyDad] That is a good assessment. A very good one. You may come out the other side with your life, but bits and pieces of your sanity may be scattered about the park by the end of the day.

February 15, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSexy Housewife

Hey BD! A great time was certainly had by all, eh?! We have yet to make the trip but plan on doing so in the next couple years. This was a nice primer.
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[BusyDad] Definitely wait until all the kids are over the "this is too scary" phase. Because spending a week's paycheck on admission to ride just one or two rides? THAT is scary.

February 15, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterChuck

i'll have to bookmark this in a folder called, "things not to do." seems as though you had fun, but my head would have exploded. you've obviously still a head intact, so you get props. also bravery points for even attempting - and acing - the 3 kids, 4 theme parks stunt.
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[BusyDad] Thanks for the props! Yes, it was a little insane. But I guess so is skydiving. I'm glad I did it, but I'd be kicking and screaming if you made me do it again anytime soon.

February 15, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterzoeyjane

Wow - you just took me back a little over a year ago when I took my girls to WDW. We even stayed at Saratoga Springs!! It rained when we went, too.
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[BusyDad] Hey funny! Those pools are a lifesaver, aren't they?

February 15, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterApril

cute factor too high! So cute! and did I say I'd stop influencing...? heheh, glad they liked the veggie growing ride, that wasn't my doing! but that fish comment was too funny. :) Glad you guys had a for-the-most-part great time, I was so jealous!
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[d Bro] No, they still have a healthy disdain for EATING vegetables. They just like to see them grow.

February 15, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterauntie mei

What cute pictures! Your kid is just way too cute for words, but you already know that. ^_^

As much fun as I'm glad you had, gotta say, I'm glad you're back. I was missing the latest installation of Fury wisdom!
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[BusyDad] Thanks! Nice to be back too. I've got a few new Fury wisdoms in the hopper.

February 16, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMadameMeow

God, that looked like some super-fun!!! I loved the video of Jack. Great leap of faith, that vacation was.
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[BusyDad] It required ultra vigilance and mental endurance to keep track of 3 excited kids in 4 theme parks. I've got a brand new respect for what you do everyday, Mishie.

February 16, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSecret Agent Mama

I am soooo jealous. It's 57 below here and snowy. And we've all had the flu. And I haven't left the house in months. Okay, days, but still. I want a vacation!!! Thanks for letting us live vicariously through you!!

And yes, I want the html....I'll email you. Thanks! ;)
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[BusyDad] 57 below?? I wish I could channel a few dozen degrees to you. We have lots to spare here in SoCal.

February 16, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKaren C.

Holy Magical Kingdom! You met Kim Possible!

Many kudo's on this phenominal documentary, I'm exhausted just reading it. Four days doesn't seem like enought time to really capture the magic ~lol

What I love more than anything is all the amazing photo ops! I want to go just for that, just to see my little dude's go medival on the red Power Rangers ass...that's worth the price of admission.
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[BusyDad] I think the excitement factor with the kids was definitely highest with the photo opps. You just don't see the Power Rangers rolling down the street. Even in LA. Yeah, they did a good job translating Kim Possible into real life.. heh.

February 16, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterPiper of Love

Okay, well...I may have been exaggerating a bit with the 57 below, but you get the point. lol, thanks!!
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[BusyDad] Anytime the word "below" is uttered in the same sentence as temperature, I know it is beyond my tolerance level, regardless!

February 16, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKaren C.

You are either completely insane, or you drink a lot more than I thought you did. But for certain, you're either crazy or drunk.
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[BusyDad] At any point in the day, chances are I am a little of both :)

February 16, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMomo Fali

Dude, when were you there? My family spent a week there at the end of January. I teared up when we got on the shuttle bus for the airport. BTW, there ARE scary rides at Epcot. Mission: Space. My son was terrified, but loved it.
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[BusyDad] We were there pretty much all of last week (got back this past Wed). I am so glad we did not make it to Mission: Space. Whew! What little credibility I wield now would have been completely compromised.

February 16, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterShannon

Those are fantastic pictures, looks like you all had a great time! Would you like to take my kids next?

DrunkenHoney~BlogHoppin'!
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[BusyDad] As long as they desire to become ninjas, I can probably handle it. And some beer thrown into the mix can't hurt.

February 16, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterHoneybell

Gotta agree with Piper, it was exhausting just reading about your trip. But it looked fun. Definitely something the husband and I hope to do with our boys someday. Someday. Someday when the kids are guaranteed to get along all day, every day and there is no rain in the forecast.
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[BusyDad] So, like when you can ride a ski lift in Hell?

February 16, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKimikaze

Isn't Dinsneyworld too fun for words with kids that age? I mean, the Power Rangers - meeting them - was the HIGHLIGHT of my boys life so far. And meeting Kim Possible and Ron Stoppable - the highlight of MY LIFE for THEM so far - even though my very observant 5 year old claimed - that's not the REAL Kim Possible - she wasn't a cartoon. As though the Power Rangers were somehow real, but not Kim Possible because she showed up in Flesh and Blood. Too funny at the time. DinoLand - good thing you by-passed. The ride would have them in hysteric night-terrors for months. My 4 year old can handle watching Annakin (Darth Vader) being dismembered by master Obi-wan on film, but give him an animatronic T-Rex and he will wet his pants for the next 18 months. BTW, next time read the Disney Pocket Guide in order to know what may and may not horrify and terrify anyone under the age of imaginary-versus-real-discretion-advised. That warned against Bugs Life which we ignored and ruined any and all theater amusement for the remainder of our trip. Hard lesson learned. Kids just can't seem to get over feeling like they are to be eliminate by insignificant insects the size of Mack Trucks coming at them with stink spray. Go figure? Anyway, I feel like I was reliving our Disney trip for real (which my boys ask me to re-live and re-do For Real about once a month) reading and looking at this post. TOO FUN! Disney SO KNOWS what they are doing, eh?
KEEP BELIEVING
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[BusyDad] It is incredible. Another family falling victim to that Bug's Life ride! I'm thoroughly amused. I used the exact same rationale as to why they shouldn't be so scared. Star Wars is just as scary as any ride (explosions, limbs getting hacked, monsters, etc.) and the kids are HUGE addicts of that movie. But I guess "rational" and "children" just don't mix.

February 16, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAngie

Psst. I've awarded you the Flower Smeller Award. Come, see!
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[BusyDad] That was an awesome write up! Thank you Cardiogirl. You are too kind!!

February 17, 2008 | Unregistered Commentercardiogirl

these pictures are WONDERFUL. after a fabulous vacation like that I think your true LEAP this week was leaping back into the real world. Glad you had such a fun trip....well deserved for the hardest working man in the blogosphere!!
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[BusyDad] :) Thanks CF! Actually the leap back into reality was quite simple. At least I have the power to deal with anything that gets thrown my way when I am in my cubicle.

February 17, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterchristine

Oh, this brings back memories from those years. We went with C when he was about Marcus's age. And did the same breakneck pace thing. And survived. It's a fun place, all-in-all.

Great pics!
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[BusyDad] As insanely tiring as it is, it definitely the most magical place on earth. If I thought Power Rangers were real and then I actually MET them, I'd totally freak out. I can't wait to bring Fury to the Star Wars convention (I know, GEEK.)

February 17, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJen in MI

LMAO @ "No vidoe!"

"Uhhh, yeaaahhh, suuuure, no videooo, heh. heh."

This whole post cracked me up.

The picture drawing towards the end seriously did me in.
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[BusyDad] hahaha! You caught that. I hope Jack doesn't when he watches this video. There will be one pissed 3 yr. old who wants to kick my ass. Loved that picture too. Made my morning when he did that.

February 17, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSmartasstic Mom

Jack has seen the video...multiple times already...and the ham that he is has yet to catch on (or doesn't care) that he was duped. He's loving that he's on my "computah" and insists on showing everyone who comes within 50 feet of our house!
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[BusyDad] Haha that's awesome! He's famous. Lisa said this needs to go on your Video Finds.

February 17, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLolita

oh you're so good! loved all of it. the crazy wide-eyed kids, the tired looking jim, hearing your voice -- that was interesting to put a voice with a picture! such sweet kids - what an awesome, insanity-inducing trip. can't wait to go on one of my own at some point. when i have a lot of vodka and a full-time nanny.
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[BusyDad] Oh! I should have brought a flask. I know for next time. Oh, and stick around for next week's Leap of Faith post. It'll involve more of my voice than the average person can handle!

February 17, 2008 | Unregistered Commentermommica

Looks like you all had a great time! Theme parks are the best! We usually go to Cedar Point in OH at least once a year. Not sure if Ace will be big enough to enjoy it yet this year...next year definitely. :D
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[BusyDad] Yeah, I'd definitely wait a while. Nothing like paying for a day at the park and only hitting one or two rides. And paying like $8 for a hot dog!

February 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJared

Oh I am so jealous. Well not of the third day, but the experience itself. I am dying to visit the Animal Kingdom since they did the big remodel.
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[BusyDad] Theme park hopping is definitely an endurance sport!

February 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMiss

oh great sharing and so funny as always - really enjoyed all the photos!! YAY!
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[BusyDad] Thanks! These kids definitely made it amusing and blog-worthy!

February 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterA-Licious

FURY = CUTEST. KID. EVER.
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[BusyDad] :) And the under 2 set? Little Man!

February 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterVDog

RIVETING! I am still dying of cute overdose from that vid..."Head, showda's knees and tows!"

That was unreal. I was there.
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[BusyDad] Jack is the best. That kid does not stop talking/singing/entertaining - ever. On our bus ride to the park, he spent the entire time giving me a play-by-play synopsis of the first Ben 10 episode.

February 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterHuckdoll

The elephants rule.
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[BusyDad] Joeprah's BACK!

February 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJoe

LOL! I just had to decoy you with a short post, lol. Dude, what a great trip man, the photo evidence does not lie. I have to say those kids fly better than I do, I am a total wimp. I think that drawing is the best actually, in a poetic sort of way, hearts from kids is always the best. Peace man.
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[BusyDad] The drawing is my favorite part. Shows how resilient and solution oriented they can be. Jaden didn't skip a beat when Fury dissed his picture. Funny thing is that Fury's been asking for that pic ever since we got back, claiming "but I like it now!"

February 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJoe

Oh wow! It all looks absolutely fantastic, and what great photos and gorgeous kids!
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[BusyDad] Thanks! My photography skills are totally low caliber. Luckily the subject matter made up for that.

February 19, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterRosie

And I'm on your blogroll too. Many thanks, you're a star!
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[BusyDad] That's got a nice ring to it. Thanks!

February 19, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterRosie

Looks like you had a GREAT time....now I want to go to Epcot Center and visit Disney World. Did you get a chance to check out the Indiana Jones Epic Stunt Spectacular while you were there?

-B
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[BusyDad] No - we were bummed. That would have been a good one, but the National High School cheerleading championships were being held at the stunt show venue all weekend. I would insert a typical guy cheerleader comment here, but this was high school. College championships would have warranted it. Just so you know...

February 21, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterUncle B

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