Just Call Me Britney
Sunday, July 12, 2009 
This whole truck selling thing from the last post has been tough on both me and Fury. Last weeked, we gave the truck one last wash and this weeked I got the AC fixed. It's now ready for Craigslist. Since the Dada Truck was originally intended to be passed down to Fury when he got old enough to drive, he's been trying in his own way to prevent the inevitable. Last week, he offered up his Wii ("How much does a Wii depreciate, Dad?") and just tonight he asked, "Dad, can I buy your truck and just IOU until I'm 16?"
Unfortunately, Bank of Dad needs a bailout, so the best I could offer him was one last drive. With him at the wheel. Lucky for the the City of Arcadia, he can't yet reach the pedals. So instead, I drove him to the parking lot of a local shopping center. Being Sunday night, it was pretty empty.
Fury climbed to the front seat, sat on my lap, took the wheel, threw it in D and I gunned it. With me in full control of the brake and gas pedal, I felt pretty good just letting Fury hoot 'n holler and make me carsick. The radio was playing some Blue Oyster Cult concert and Fury remarked "God, this is perfect truck music!" as he jerked the steering wheel right-left-right-left not unlike the "Fast and Furious" video game he loves so much at Dave & Busters.
As Fury put Dada Truck through a stress test like it's never experienced in 7 years of faithful service, I soon noticed we were no longer alone in that parking lot.
It was the police. Smokey. The one-time. 5-0. The po-po. Rolling up on us. Headlights off and in stealth mode.
"Uh-oh, Fury. It's the cops!"
Fury froze. He was scared. He shot me a quick glance for a directive and I spoke slow and low. "Duck. Roll into the back seat. NOW." I slowed Dada Truck to a stop and did what I thought made sense in that situation. I picked up my phone and pretended to make a call. Because when you stop in the middle of an abandoned parking lot, it's because you wanted to get safely off the road and call your mother. Or something.
The police car continued toward us. The fake phone call wasn't deterring him.
So I threw it into Drive and got the hell out of there. We live a quarter mile away and there are a few turns where I might lose a curious police car. And we did. Much to Fury's relief.
When we walked in the house, we went to tell mom about it. I told her the whole story and when I got to the part where we ditched the cop, I noticed Fury putting up his hand for a high five.
What. I couldn't leave my son hanging, right?
View Printer Friendly Version
Reader Comments (28)
So Cute!! Aaaw, I'm glad you guys had one last drive :)
Oh man that was hilarious. I could totally see my husband doing something like that.
An important skill to teach our children, no? I also remind my kids that if they get pulled over and they have a baby in the car, they can start pinching the baby to make it cry so the police officer will feel sorry for you and not give you a speeding ticket. Not that I've done that, or anything.
Now that's something he'll always remember! Too funny.
Dad of the Year material, is you.
Im keeping my daughters far away from Arcadia. But moving my son there. You have one hella of an awesome bad boys old school going on there.
Niiiiiiice. Another important life lesson he's learned. :)
Never! You should never leave a kid hanging on a high five. LMAO.
I'll bet your wife had a hard time not laughing, even though she probably wanted to kill you. Or is that just me? Leave it to you to not only let the kid drive, but then run from the cops!!
If that was the parking lot of the mall in Arcadia, I learned to drive there myself! Amazing that they were able to put an entire gi-normous mall into the parking lot of the Arcadia Race Track!
You = TEH AWESUM.
Nice job, my friend!
Effectively ditching the cops is always worthy of a high five.
I know that I should be all on my moral high horse and make you sweat by saying something along the lines of Holy S*&T what a HORRIBLE example you are a terrible father! But, you know, that is totally something I would at least think of doing so hey, it just made me laugh. : )
At least you're getting your last few precious moments in. Forever remembered in blog posts and tweets.
Aww, this actually got me a little teary. Very cool send off for Dada Truck.
You do realize that you no longer will be able to yell at him for getting caught doing donuts in the parking lot when he's 16, right? Except for the whole no snow in LA thing, I guess, which might make that a bit harder for him to accomplish in the first place.
omfg...
dad of the year- that's soooo YOU!!!
bwahahahahah- outrunning the cops... holy crap that takes some balls man!!
Jimmmmmm! Fury isn't allowed to cuss until he's 18 -- that includes God. STOP IT! ;)
We let my 3 year old "drive" down the street and park. :0)
GO! SPEED RACER! GO!
As long as you weren't wearing shorts and got out of the truck with your junk hanging out it shoulda been ok!
Well, that's one helluva sendoff for sure... he'll remember that night forever!
Oh jesus, Jim.
{shaking my mom finger at you}
Giving you and Fury HIgh Fives behind my mom conscience's back ;-)
that's a priceless memory. Love it.
You and Fury... Hell on Wheels ;-)
What did Sweet Wife have to say about that?
Sounds like a blast. I'm sure he told his friends. That's one to tell friends even as he gets older. This one time, when I was little...
What a terrific story! He's going to remember that one forever. And no, you definitely cannot leave the kid hanging, that's just not right.
You are made of awesome. So hilarious!
So wrong on so many levels and yet so cool. What a tale. What a memory for the two of you.
Ridiculously awesome!