I love it when a punishment comes together
Saturday, May 29, 2010 Necessary background fact 1: Fury plays youth lacrosse.
Necessary background fact 2: I'm not a sports dad, but I have this thing for focus and heart. As long as you try your ass off, even if you suck, I'm good. I've not been "good" at Fury's games.
Necessary background fact 3
: As much as I want to fix #2, I don't want to push too hard and take the fun out of lacrosse for him.
Necessary background fact 4: Earlier this year, we took Fury to a collegiate lacrosse game to show him what it looks like when it all comes together. He ran into a kid who brought bubbles and spent the entire time chasing bubbles.
Onto the post...
On Saturday afternoon, Fury and I came across the NCAA lacrosse semi-finals while channel surfing. Knowing that he would never sit through an entire game, I offered this up:
"Fury, I know you want to watch other stuff, but I want you just to watch 10 minutes of this, so you can see real lacrosse in action."
whine, whine, whiney, oh maaaan!! this is boring!! whine whine etc etc...
"Fury, it's just 10 minutes. I'm making you watch just TEN minutes."
whine, whine, whiney, I don't care about watching unless I'm in it... whine whine etc etc...
"Fury. 10 minutes. And stop whining. If you say one more word, I promise you will hate your life. You will say nothing, starting in 3, 2, 1..."
"But Daaad I..."
"Enjoy the game, Fury. The entire game. And the next one too."
Yes, I realized that this move would kill background fact #3, and Fury would forever hate lacrosse. But I was over it. Hell, I've never even played lacrosse. I have no ties to the sport. And I was more than ok throwing it under the bus to show him that I mean business when I say stop whining.
In the past, our punishments have always involved taking something away from Fury. Problem is, the kid is a master at finding ways to entertain himself. No computer? I'll play Legos. No TV? I'll draw. No Toys? I'll read. But this time? He was suffering. There he sat. No toys, no Nintendo DS, no books, and 3 hours of NCAA lacrosse action to look forward to.
He was miserable. He was writhing in agony. And I'd be lying if I said I wasn't feeling a little smug.
Fury was lucky that the first game we watched was down to the last 5 minutes. That meant only a 30 minute pre-game show for Duke vs Virginia, followed by the game itself.
With tears of frustration, a broken spirit and what seemed like 3 lifetimes, we eventually made it to the second half of the game. A minute into the 3rd quarter, Virginia was leading Duke 8-5.
But then something happened.
Duke scored. Then scored again. And again. And again. And Fury sat up.
Then Duke scored once again. And Fury cheered.
Then Duke scored two more times. And Fury left the room.
When I caught up to him, Fury was in our bedroom, talking to mom. "... and then they tied it, and then they kept on scoring! Like 7 goals in a row!"
Then he ran back to the living room. "Dad, can I have some almonds?" I grabbed a bag of smoked almonds for him and cracked open a beer for me.
And then began the nail biting. After Duke's 7 unanswered goals earned them a comfortable 12-8 lead, Virginia struck back with a rally of their own, scoring 3 in a row to cut Duke's lead down to 1. At this point Fury was yelling "noooo!!"
"So, Fury, you like Duke, eh?"
"Yeah! I like their team name better!"
Good enough for me. Also, neither of us were sitting at that point.
With 1:21 left in the game, it was tied 12-12.
And it stayed that way until Duke sealed Virginia's fate with a goal at the 12 second mark. With cheers and fists pumping, Fury finished out the last 10 seconds of his punishment.
"Ok, Fury, you're done!"
"Dad, that was the best punishment I ever had! And I need you to record my next punishment."
I had no idea what that meant. "Huh?"
"The championship game on Monday. I want you to record it for me."
As I set the DVR I realized, you don't always have to succeed to win.
Reader Comments (32)
That is HIL-ARIOUS! Love it! Congrats too!
He picked a good team!
Why don't my punishments ever work? You even got to drink a beer! I bow to you, BD. I bow.
My mom used to make my sister and I watch old black and white movies while holding hands as punishment for fighting with each other. I don't give a rats a$$ how funny Charlie Chaplin may have been, neither Lindsay nor I ever got off the sofa to ask for more.
Fury, you're a lucky kid.
I love it that you are going to record his next punishment -- like you'll save up that game until he does something really REALLY naughty and then make him watch it. Has he been reading Brer Rabbit again? Also, how funny is it that his team is the Lizards? Tat cracks me up too.
And I can't resist adding that I am TOTALLY stealing Traci's mom's punishment for fighting. My kids call black-and-white pictures/movies "grey." As in, "why is this whole show nothing but grey?" It's the perfect punishment. And the hand-holding is genius. Now I almost hope today's heat leads to squabbling.
I'm off to my DVR to check out what punishments I can record for them next.
Great job Dad! Duke is a great place for him to aspire to go to as well. Great lax team AND a pretty good school to boot. However, you better start saving your nickels as it aint cheap.
I remember my love of hockey being created with one of my first memories. My parents celebrating the Islanders first Stanley Cup when I was about to turn 4. It also helped they won the next 3 and set a record in sports that will never be matched.
Perfect outcome on your creative punishment. I love when a lesson learned works out so well.
GREAT story!! I love it when we question ourselves and our parenting to death, and then it works out. My 12 year old daughter is currently driving me crazy with the attitude (sullen, dismissive, ridiculing everything in sight). So I FORCED her to go to the sprint car races with me last night at the local county fair and on the way home, we were laughing our butts off. Score one for Busy Dad, and score one for me!!
Sound like you got your point across AND found something for you and Fury to enjoy together. That's a WIN in my book.
Oh and by the way, sometimes when the kids are making my crazy, I put myself in time out. "No, no... don't talk to Mommy. I'm in time-out, remember..." Wha-ha-ha-ha!
Nice! Way to make him LIKE the punishment. I need MORE parenting tips from you. I put it into action today: I took tv time away from Evan so I could do my TaeBo dvd. It was agony for him! Not because he watches that much tv... (he actually doesn't pay much attention to it usually when it's on)... but because I got MY tv time. Making them suffer just rocks. :D
I felt such a deep sense of satisfaction reading your post. It's so ridiculously great when some crazy parenting call you make in the spur of the moment pays off. It's happened to be a few times and I always feels like "I WIN PARENTING!" for about 15 seconds . . . then we're on to the next thing and it's usually a total fail because that's how parenting goes. But when you're up, WOOT!
If you want to punish him, make him watch golf. To qoute George Carlin "Watching golf on TV is like watching to flys screw"
Love this! Glad it came together for you. :o)
That sure did work out nicely. Enjoy many more games together.
Congrats on the victory, Dad. I hope this doesn't mean I have three years left till MY whiny one can be taught a lesson. At 5, I've threatened to "take away baseball" in all forms -- but that's just lead us to sheer torture in the means of whining that "I WANNA PLAY BASEBAAAAALLLL..." Gah.
And congrats on the pretty little girl, too. :-)
This is a GREAT idea. I love it.
I always take something away and my daughter always wins by finding something else to do. However, she plays lacrosse and loves it but the idea of making them sit through whatever they are whining about it brilliant.
Wow, aren't you jsut the cruelest parent in the Universe! :)
If that really happened like that, it's a pretty awesome story. Good job on the punishment.
hahah on traci's punishment too! that's pretty painful. But yay to Fury for being such a trooper :)
Go Lizards!!
I have to admit, I was a little confused by the title. I'm glad that this all came together. (and he stopped whining)
Record my next punishment. Nice!
Ha! I loved this!
My punish usually always involves taking something away or letting him cool off in his room. And he always manages to find something to do.....even if it's just making shadows on his wall!
Love your blog. I am alos a dad with a blog. I have linked to you, be great if you could link back
thanks
http://daddydazed.co.uk
You're the absolute best!! Best. Best. Best.
That my friend? Is an awesome story!!!! Who can not get into an awesome game of anything? Now I kinda want to get into lacrosse!!!
And who won the Championship??
Great Youth Sports Story - Did Fury take this new found passion for the sport to the field?
I think this highlights one problem/characteristic of disciplining kids - taking stuff away is the default option. As your post demonstrates, it's not always the best. Here's to making kids do stuff.
I think this highlights one problem/trend in disciplining kids - taking stuff away is usually easier, but not always the best. Here's to making kids do stuff (and possibly discover stuff)
That was brilliant and a total dad move. I'm going to send you my son now. Please return him with straighter, cleaner teeth and a nice bowl haircut.
Amazing. I'd like to take this opportunity as a dad to genuflect in your general direction.
1. You named your son "Fury," which is just a crazy badass name.
2. You followed through on a consequence with potentially dismal consequences for your son's devotion to the game of lacrosse (which, honestly, I've never seen a game of lacrosse, but your post makes me want to watch one RIGHT NOW).
3. You've inspired me. I'm on the lookout now for such a potential win in the face of the inevitable whining.
Cheers!
Sometimes you have to sift through the defeat to find the victory, right? That's one of the great challenges of parenting. Thanks for the post!