Help Me Maury Povich, You're My Only Hope!

MauryMauryMakeover.jpgMaury: Ok, let's welcome our next guest to today's "Help! My Loved One Neeeeds a Makeover" special. Her name is Lisa and she hails from Los Angeles. Lisa, tell us about why you contacted us.

Lisa:  Hi Maury... my son Fury looks like a stoner. People take one look at him and think he's an urchin living under the street. His teachers give us the evil eye when we drop him off at school. His sports coach calls him Mowgli... I'm at my wit's end.

Maury: And you say you're afraid where this might lead...

Lisa: Yes. I mean, he's already drawing out his U's when he says "dude." He's only five, Maury! Five!  What's next? Is he gonna say "Stop harshing my mellow, mom!" when I make him eat all his broccoli? When do we start drawing the line?

Maury:  Right now, Lisa. Right now. But first let's take a look at Fury:


Lisa: *sob*  

Maury: Don't you worry, Lisa. We've assembled just the team you need to bring about a transformation like you've never seen. Since this morning, the guys at Queer Eye for the Little Guy, have been backstage working their magic on Fury. Oh! and they tell me they're done. Are you ready? Presenting the newer, Abercrombier Fury!


Fury: Hi Mom...
Lisa: Oh my god!! 
Fury: Can you sign me up for the Lacrosse League?
Lisa: *sob* yes son! I love you! 

Maury: How adorable. And Lisa, we couldn't just makeover your son and send you home with nothing for yourself now could we? Nope - we want you to embrace your new role as a mom to the "beautiful people" by enjoying this DVD box set of "Real Wives of Orange County. Seasons I and II."

[cue credits]