Q: What do you get when you send a blogger with a Crackberry on a business trip to New York City for an entire week?
A: Complete abandonment of said blog, a raging addiction to mobile social networking via Twitter and Twitpic and too many random headlines to tie into one coherent post. So you're getting the newspaper version.
Social "Bubble Boy" Spotted in Times Square Bar
Nov. 3, 2008 - A number of eyewitnesses claimed to have spotted what can only be described as a social "Bubble Boy" roaming aimlessly through Times Square during the late evening and early morning hours of Monday night. Although witness accounts of his physical appearance vary from "so hot he could be in a hot blogger calendar," to "total nerd who's probably into Star Wars," to "a guy who looked like one of those internet marketing pricks at the AdTech Conference," they all confirm that this person had both thumbs glued to a small electronic device. Oblivious to all social stimuli, trash cans and sign posts within a 3 foot radius, this "Bubble Boy" eventually settled into a local watering hole around 2 am and uttered his only reported string of interactive communication for the entire night: "Yo, I didn't miss last call did I? Oh sweet! Newcastle please." Upon receiving his beer, this individual proceeded to laugh out loud and nod in agreement with this device, pausing every once in a while to sip and/or feverishly click buttons with both thumbs, muttering occasionally, "Damn. 3 characters over the limit! I gotta be able to form a contraction here somewhere," a classic sign of Social Media Syndrome, specifically Twitter on the Brain, according to experts.
Editorial: They Don't Make Stalkers Like They Used To
I remember reading about stalkers when I was little pre-blogger. They scared me in a good way and I couldn't wait to get one of my very own someday. So when this person named Carol from NY emailed me a few months ago, and was able to pinpoint and describe my neighborhood based upon my blog posts and videos alone, I knew I'd made it. Turns out what I originally attributed to clever triangulation and use of satellite imagery was actually due to the fact that Carol grew up a mile from my house and only recently moved to New York City. So much for that. But she did have one thing going for her: she is not a blogger. What?? A reader who has no blog? Why would anyone read this blog without any desire for a reciprocal visit? It baffled me. It baffled my friends on Twitter as well, who were all sure that if I met up with her, I'd end up dispersed throughout the Tri-State area in various degrees of chopped-uppedness. The following tweet from Miss was representative of the sentiment that night:
"no blog? Same city? That's a whole new level of stalker. And not the good kind. 3:44 PM Nov 4thfrom TwitterBerry in reply to BusyDad"
Cool. Now I had to meether. How cool would it be to update my Twitter page with something like "Does anybody know where the trunk release on a late model Oldsmobile sedan might be?"
Turns out that Carol was headed to Times Square to watch the election. As was I. Stalk on, stalker! Sometime halfway into election night, I made my way into Times Square. As planned, I dialed her cell so we could meet up. I have to admit that I was a tad disappointed when she answered "I'm near the big Yahoo! sign" instead of "look behind you, BusyDad" when I asked her where she was. And on top of that, I had to wade my way through a quarter-mile-thick wall of people to find her. Wait... I thought stalkers were supposed to find you.
So my scary stalker? A fresh-out-of college "short Asian girl" (her own words) with a penchant for parenting blogs. And instead of 9" Buck Knife, she brought along her 5' 2" friend Jill. Yeah, so instead of getting chopped up, I treated two young ladies to Korean food. But I have to admit that it was cool that any time I referenced something Fury did, she knew exactly what I was talking about. And she noticed there wasn't any Newcastle at the restaurant. I could get used to this.
(And the next day, after properly stalking my Twitter feed about our evening, Carol emailed me that she actually did have a private blog and gave me permission to share with my other stalkers: xanga.com/amariyah. Quid pro quo, Clarice. Quid pro quo...)
World News: BusyDad Accidentally Steps into History
Nov. 4, 2008 - I knew that the election was going to take place while I was in New York. But being from Los Angeles where there is no such thing as a central point where the entire city converges for major events, I hadn't the slightest notion of the magnitude of what I was about to experience.
My hotel was about a half mile away from Times Square. When I was done with work for the night, it was close to 10:00. I hadn't seen any coverage of the event on TV, nor did I tune into the internet. I just knew from being there earlier that day that people would be gathered to watch it on the jumbotrons.
As I made the trek to the Square, I started snapping pics with my cameraphone, but all I could do was delete them. As quickly as they were snapped. When you take pictures, you capture an experience, but what if 99% of that experience consists of an aura? An aura of true hope and goodwill that is completely foreign to your 36-year-old jaded heart? It throws you off. Add to that a caravan of fire engines roaring down Broadway to an emergency, ushered along the way by thousands of onlookers applauding and yelling "thank you!" Too much to ask of a 1.3 megapixel cameraphone, isn't it?
As my newfound spirit of idealism subsided to tolerable levels, I was able snap a few pictures and post them on my Twitpic site for my friends to see in real-time. Here's one of them. It's only beginning to sink in that the time and place where I was standing will be featured in history books my son will read.
Oh, and I was on TV, yo. If you squint real hard you can make it out:
Celebrity Sightings: Smartass Mom
A mom blogging superstar was spotted in New York City this past week, and independent sources have linked her appearance to BusyDad's arrival in the city around the same time. A comedian-whom-you-kind-of-recognize-from-oh-what-was-that-movie-called-again-who-now-commentates-on-VH1's-Best-Week-Ever told the Times "Mmmhmm. Sure BusyDad, you had a [airquotes] conference and they just happened to be [airquotes] in the area. Yeah, like, hellooooo."
On Thursday night, BusyDad was seen running around town with New Jersey mom blogger Traci, aka Smart A$$ Mom. Sources say that upon meeting at a random streetcorner, they wasted no time ducking into the first pub they could find to pound some brews. Once the drinking started, Traci was overheard telling BusyDad that he was her first ever blogger meet-up. He was all sorts of proud after that. And when the Smithwick's promo team spotted the two obviously famous internet celebrities, and gave them free keychains, t-shirts and a round of Smithwick's, they were both pretty glowing. That explains BusyDad's lighthouse beacon cheek glare in the picture.
And what goes better after an hour filling your belly up with Irish beer? Duh, sushi, of course! At least SmartA$$ and Busy thought so. Or they thought it a good excuse to drink sake and more beer. And order Black Cod (a cooked fish that tastes better than butter).
After dinner, the pair were spotted meandering towards Penn Station and subsequently missing Traci's train. No problemo. Penn Station has a bar. Nothing like Jaeger shots and more beer to kill a half hour.
So what does Perez Hilton have to say about BusyDad's galavanting around Manhattan with mom bloggers and stalkers and acting way too college boy in one week?
Perez is obviously jealous. Because who cares if he makes $40K a day in advertising on his blog, and gets to be on Celebrity Rap Superstar. He's still not the uber cool supafly goofy goober they call BusyDad.