Happy Halloween from the Galactic Empire

Remember when every Jack O’ Lantern on the block had triangle eyes, a matching nose, a big smile and 4 square teeth? And your costume cost ten bucks, came in a box, and consisted of a vinyl apron that simulated both the legs and uniform of your favorite heroes? And we were ok with the fact that our Aquaman mask looked exactly like our buddy’s Superman mask (but with blond painted-on hair rather than brown), as well as our neighbor’s Wonder Woman mask (same mold, add lipstick, tiara and long hair).

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I guess you measure societal progress by the level of realism in holiday accoutrements, so who am I to complain? In fact, I’m doing a great job going with the flow, as evidenced by this year’s eBay bill (Don't tell me you bought your kid’s costume off the rack -- what kind of parent are you?). And I’m not doing too badly in the Jack O’Lantern department either.

These ain’t stenciled. These are old-school freehand beauties with a contemporary commercial flair. And because our street gets absolutely zero Halloween traffic, I wanted to share them with you, my Internet neighborhood. Please make the newly pinched nerve in my wrist worth it by complimenting me on the fruits of my artistic toil.

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I bet George Lucas gets some sort of royalty from these too…

And my son? Here’s his:

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Should I be worried?