Give a boy a cheeseburger and he'll get a Happy Meal toy, teach him how to cook one and you'll get a blog post
Saturday, August 22, 2009 "Dad, can I skip the workbook tonight?"
The kid knows how to work this "mom's not here for the week" thing really well. And I know what you're thinking. You're thinking given the fact that in the past two weeks Fury and I have adopted a huge disgusting bug as a pet, broken all posted boating speed limits, hung out at Hooters, and peed into tupperware, that I would surely let him get away with an infraction as minor as skipping a few summer-brush-up math problems and writing exercises, right?
WRONG.
Well, kinda. Or not technically. Come on, Home Ec totally counted as a class in school, right? At least as important as reading, writing and arithmetic, I would argue. Why am I even trying to justify this? He's my kid and this is my blog.
We totally skipped the workbook.
But in its place, I told him this: "Fury, I will let you skip the workbook stuff tonight, but you know what I want you to do instead? You are going to cook your own dinner. What do you want to eat?"
"I want a cheeseburger. Do I get a toy?"
"No, but you will have more fun than any Happy Meal toy could provide" (Low bars, I set 'em).
So off to the supermarket we went to pick up a pound and a half of ground beef.
"What do you want in your cheeseburger?"
"I want sauteed mushrooms."
And my foodie side shed a little tear of joy. We got some mushrooms.
"And I don't want a regular bun. I want it on a croissant."
Done. You rock, son.
And thus began Fury's first solo dinner.
LESSON 1: Look the part
Speak softly and carry a big cleaver. A step stool and Dad's chef jacket doesn't hurt either (I'm not a real chef, but I like to play chef games at home).
LESSON 2: Open a beer first
For your teacher, of course. But oh alright, you can lick the bottlecap. You said please.
LESSON 3: Get your hands dirty
Food is love. You're not doing it right if you don't make a mess.
LESSON 4: Out of chaos, comes art
We don't need no stinkin' patty press. Like snowflakes, each patty tells a story. And can be rolled into a ball and hucked.
LESSON 5: Butter
Is your friend.
LESSON 6: Butter browns quickly
I know you love pistachios, but if a snack is going to take you away from melting butter for more than 2 minutes, let's hold off. Or not. It's pistachios, dammit.
LESSON 7: Pose for every pic like it was going to be the inside cover shot of your first cookbook
You're a natural. Pass.
LESSON 8: It's all in the wrist
I know "getting air" is the point of pretty much everything you do, so this is just something I'll just need to work with you on a little bit. But I'll admit, that patty did a pretty good back-flip 360, flying hot grease globules notwithstanding.
LESSON 9: The Waft
Never stick your nose directly above what you're cooking. You need to waft the aroma into your nose. And adopting a Franch ac-scont while you're at it makes it smell better.
LESSON 10: It's the cheese, it's gotta be the cheese
Like butter, if you have a single cooking gene in your body, this instinctual tidbit comes standard.
LESSON 11: Use the right tools
If a Padawan is allowed to use a real lightsaber while training to be a Jedi, my 7-yr-old can use a knife with a sharp blade to cut stuff. He's lucky I didn't make him wear the blast shield helmet.
LESSON 12: Presentation is key
You look maaavelous.
Absolutely maaaavelous.
LESSON 13: If YOU can't enjoy it, then there's no point
While most people prefer their gourmet cheeseburgers hot off the grill, it doesn't mean that you have to agree. If you like yours quick frozen for a few minutes to make it easier on the tongue, no one has the right to stop you.
LESSON 14: Celebrate a job well done
Proud. Proud. Proud. My little Iron Chef.
Also cool? Today is my 2nd blogiversary. I can't believe I've been at it for 2 years. It's been fun. Thank you all for encouraging this madness and laughing with me. Or at me. Whatever. As long as you're laughing.
View Printer Friendly Version
Reader Comments (90)
Happy Blogiversary.
That looks like a grubbing meal! Happy 2nd blog anniversary! Keep up the great work!
Looks like you guys had a ball! Can't wait until my little ones are old enough to do some cooking on their own. Happy 2nd Anniversary, that's awesome! Its my first time to the site, but I'll definitely be around for the 3rd anniversary.
Dude, that looks pretty freakin' good! Awesome part is you could totally have it for breakfast too and no one would make fun of you. You know, because of the croissant. Happy anniversary!
Wow, that's a great looking burger!
Congrats on the 2 years! Here's hoping for many more...
Sorry, that "like a snowflake..." line made me snort my wine.
LOVED this. And cooking lessons are way more practical than math workbooks. Blah. What adult do you know who does MATH WORKBOOKS?!? But EVERY adult you know should be able to make a burger, right?!?
Life skills, man. Much more important.
This is so cool! I can't cook to save my life, but I was thinking about what you've done here and I realized something. As parents we have the ability to pass on certain things to our kids, more than just genetics. So many parents never teach their kids what they know. For instance, my dad is a carpenter yet he never taught me how to build anything. I think what you're doing is great. Thanks for the story :-)
I'M LATE! SORRY! ~*~ HAPPY ANNIVERSARY! ~*~
Wow, those mushroom burger croissants look delicious. I wish I had those kinds of lessons when I was growing up. Have you seen mekeliki.com, by the way? He blogged about you and that's how I found this post.
Wow! That's got to be one of the best looking burgers I've every seen. You should be proud!
Happy blog anniversary!
Too. Awesome. For. Words.
Fury heeds the advice of his internet-fairy-godmother well. Burgers, with browned mushrooms, on a croissant.
*wipes away tear
First of all, that is one cute kid.
Second of all, great cooking lesson, and I want to come over for dinner, but only if the kid cooks.
And third, read your post today on Aiming Low and LOVED it. Nice job.
That is one freakingly cute kid. And you should be proud. It is not every 7 year old who has those mad skilz.
This is my first visit to your blog and you rock! The burger is mouth watering and your son is too dog on cute! Looks like you're an awesome dad. Keep up the good work. BTW what's a little pee in some tupperware? Nada! =)
Was just @ Red Robin and remembered this post, they have a kids cook off where kids are encouraged to create their own burger. Fury would totally kill with this one.
Dude, he is a natural! Grilling is one of my past tmes and he did a nice job. And only 7yo. Muy impressive!
Dude, is he drinking out of a Magic Bullet drinking cup? Cause OMG he shoulda made some Margaritas to go with that bad boy burger.
Suck on THAT McDonalds.
Hey! found you from Dear Mr. Man's blog.
I loved the cooking pics. but I just have to ask.... peeing in tupperware? Really!
Your son is a sweetie and a smartie & lucky to have a dad teachin' him 2 cook!
So THAT'S how you write a funny blog AND include pictures. I was skeptical that it could be done. Bravo, my new friend. Bravo.
dude, you should create a show... Top chef- KIDS edition!
Cool cooking diggs Fury
Long time, no nothing. I have been MIA for a while. Glad to see you and Fury are still up to your old tricks. You have quite the pimped out kitchen. Hope all is well! (p.s. I have a new blog but it's top secret...I will email you the info.)
A cooking kid, that's great. When I gave my now 13 year old license to cook, she calls herself 'The Teen Gourmet.' Sometimes her concoctions can get a little scary. But she eats them!
btw your kitchen floor is sickening awesome.
yah, i hate you.
jk
I love your photos. Your son looked awesome and cute. Thanks for sharing. I wish you the best in all your endeavors. By the way, these best gifts that you could give your better-half might interest you too. Thanks and have a nice and fulfilling day.
You are right to be proud, a talent for cooking starting at this age is fabulous! And a great tool to lure the ladies (in a few years) ;-)
Happy 2nd blogiversary!
So freaking cute. Dylan has been cooking a lot lately (he's 10) and makes killer guacamole. Great job big guy!
Hey!! Just wanted to let you know I FINALLY got around to making these last night- and omg sooooooooo good.....
I used jalapeno havarti cheese- oh so good... Tell your son he's a genius and if he ever feels the need to experiment in the kitchen again- he's always welcome in mine!! :P
I'm jealous of your spice rack. Happy blogiversary!
I have a back seat filled with discarded and forgotten Happy Meal Toys, most never got out of the plastic wrap. I am so going to make my kid cook dinner like this. I'll have to get the chef jacket to make it official but damn this looks like fun. I might skip the knife part, we've already been to the ER too many times this summer. What a cutie!
This whole story is awesome, and would not have been even CLOSE to as pleasant as it was to read if you hadn't added the photo commentary. So entertaining! :)
That so great that you spend time cooking with your son. I'm so glad my parents both taught me how to cook as I was growing up. Now I'm one of the few 20-something women I know who have any skills in the kitchen. Even so, I still could take pointers from your little one! Mushrooms croissant burger sounds delicious!
Wow, my mouth is absolutely watering. (over both the incredible food AND your kitchen) Does Fury hire out yet? You really need to get on that, stat. ;) Belated congrats on the 2 year bloggiversary, that's great!
For a frightening second there, I thought he'd opened that beer with his teeth. Thank the Goddess for the caption. After all, he shouldn't start doing THAT until he's a teenager.
Terrific life lesson.. Great kiddo.. burgers look great. Never thought about putting them in a crossont (sp) or the freezer.. might try the crossont,(sp) but not the freezer method. Sorry for misspelling, to tired to spell check!
Dude,
How did I miss the "peeing in Tupperware" story? I must go now and read that.
Also? We have the exact same tile. I knew I liked you. You obviously have good taste.
Great job on making dinner, Fury!
Okay I am NOT laughing. I am crying. At how amazing of a daddy you are with this cooking lesson and that friggin' SPICE RACK THINGY ON YOUR COUNTER!!! You are a dude that makes this chick who is lame in the kitchen feel like crawling into my microwave and pressing start. Okay that's a little harsh. I don't really want to do that. But wow. I am totally inspired. I am going to teach my girls to cook something. Can I start with cereal?
Or better yet, will YOU come teach them something? Or maybe Fury can? :-)
Great job Busy Dad Jim and happy blogoversary....
:-)
This is adorable! And is it weird I was drooling more over your kitchen than the burger (I'm not a mushroom fan)? I absolutely love the tile.
That is so awesome that Fury likes to cook! I've battled my eleven year old daughter just to make scrambled eggs. She's afraid of the stove. Sigh.
She still loves that bug book we won from here, too, by the way. Now that my son is old enough to read, he's loving it too! Thanks a million!
And sorry for not being around much lately. I've been kinda distant from my favorite blogs, but I am still here.
OMG! Please forgive me. I'm terribly late here. Happy Blogiversary!!!
And as always, Fury is amazing. It's 9am and I already want a burger. The croissant sold me. It's kinda like breakfast :)
1) I WANT your kitchen. Like I have a serious hurting in my pork tenderloin for that kitchen.
2) You are much braver than I. My 9 year old hurts himself LOOKING at a knife, let alone letting him use a stove, and actual knife!
3) HAPPY ANNIVERSARY! Did you buy your site some flowers? Take it out for a nice candle light dinner? Perhaps purchase some cubic zirconias? ;) It's in the details you know.
Love the blog... thanks for the reading. :)