Exit, stage
Sunday, August 19, 2012 I haven't been writing much lately, even by my own lowly standards. It's not because there hasn't been anything to write about. Stories still happen, whether we want them to or not. I've simply chosen to let them pass by, because nothing makes sense without a context. And my context was in flux. Phantom of the Opera isn't the same production when you put Michael Crawford on the Great Wall of China. The story fundamentally changes. So as we come out of this intermission, I need to let you know that the set has changed. Divorce papers have been filed. No commentary will be offered nor accepted. I just needed to address it, so that my stories make sense. I need to usher this elephant out stage left, and Ghenghis Khan along with him so that I can blog again.
I'm not good at this stuff. Can we just talk about the zoo now?
When your time with the kids has an imminent handoff attached, it sure makes you look at Xbox in a whole different way. Instead of being a lifesaver, I now see it as my competition. Good thing there's wildlife. Last weekend, I took the kids to a local museum that rescues animals and teaches you about them, too. Luckily, some exhibits are like videogames. You have to wean the kids off their natural environment first.
Lessi and Fury had a great time observing local wildlife, some alive and some stuffed. I had the pleasure of seeing my first-ever live bald eagle. Lessi had the pleasure of learning that because of our species' opposable thumbs and abilty to harness the power of gunpowder, she can take pictures like these without becoming a tasty snack.
Also, I get to do this:
Unfortunately, this museum was kind of small, and high fiveability aside, stuffed animals aren't that exciting. We decided to go to the Oakland Zoo instead. But not before spotting a rogue exhibit on the way out.
The Oakland Zoo was a storybook come alive for Lessi. The first animal she saw was a monkey. As adults, we take monkeys for granted. If you could translate childhood wonder into words, she said "WTF, those things are REAL??" Although Fury has pretty much seen it all, you can always count on a full-blown chimpanzee fight to brighten a 10-year-old boy's day. Also, a 40-year-old's. They also witnessed an elephant pooping. That's zoo admission ROI right there.
And I take back what I said about stuffed creatures. They can be pretty cool. Meet Lessi's new Otter, which she named Butter, because "I like butter!"
She took this picture in front of the otter exhibit. She wanted Butter to see where he came from. That, or she's into being all meta and stuff.
If picking the blog up again was this hard, I can only imagine the long road to the new normal. For everyone. It'll take a lot more than zoos and monkeys and high fives, but at the end of the day, if it's about these two being able to smile like this, it's a small step in the right direction.
Reader Comments (29)
Took me awhile to get to the new normal... saw a lot of wild animals and wanted to stuff a few myself in the process. I wish you the best of luck.
1. SQUIRREL!
2. When Zoe was around Lessi's age, an orangutan crapped in his hand, smeared it on a basketball, and threw it at another orangutan. To this day, Zoe still talks about it.
3. I also like butter.
Thinking of you and sending hugs Jim. This phrasing -- "When your time with the kids has an imminent handoff attached..." -- really puts things in perspective. xoxoxo
Words fail me at this point, because anything I say will come off as trite, greeting card crap, but I mean it. I hope this transition is a smooth one for you, or as smooth as it can be, and I'm wishing your family strength as you guys figure out this change.
Elephants pooping is cool.
Monkey wars and epic poop... what could be better for entertaining kids?
No real commentary, but from a former handoff, it does get better and your kids will always know how much you love them.
I totally get the XBox thing. We're there right now, too, and I think my kids are staging a coup through the walls at night.
I was at the Denver zoo chaparoning a school trip and we were looking at this snake, smooshed up against the glass wall of its cage. Cool enough on its own, but then it started pooping. SMOOSHED UP AGAINST THE GLASS WALL OF ITS CAGE.
I still have dreams about that poo. It was AMAZING.
*hates self for this comment*
Wishing you a smooth transition through the life event that shall not be discussed henceforth.
"You have to wean the kids off their natural environment first." Sad but true.
And Butter the Otter? Quite possibly the best name ever. Adorable.
*hating self for reading Mr. Lady's comment because now all I can think about is snakes pooping on glass"
Butter is adorable, as is Lissi. Totally adorable. :)
I hate to see that this is happening to you and your family. Best wishes for as safe and easy of a transition as possible.
I never really know what to say to people going through this, so um...
squirrel!
Sending love and stuff.
I'm not sure what to say, either, but I do know that your love for your kids shines through, and they'll be fine. So will you.
I saw an elephant fart once, and the visual of its butt hole flapping makes me laugh to this day.
Butter. BUTTER. Dude, I kind of lover her. And butter.
No real comment here, other than best wishes, and all that jazz and hey! SQUIRREL!
heh
I'm sad to hear about the rough personal stuff going on. I feel like two happy parents in separate households is much better than two unhappy parents in the same household. Good luck getting through the hard stage quickly!
I love the name Butter. Best otter name ever! Lessi's adorableness kills me dead. And Fury is just a package of awesome. You're a wonderful dad to them!
I read somewhere that all will be fine. I think it was a fortune cookie. Yes, all will be fine.
Also, kids love the zoo. Good call on that one!
Glad I got to see you again in NYC.
BusyDad, you will soon be even busier. Divorce sucks. Life changes suck. Decisions we make that affect our kids suck. But, how you handle it will be a great model for how your kids handle life adversity some day.
KEEP BELIEVING
You're in my thoughts. Also, your children are gorgeous, and I suspect they're that happy, whether they're at a super-cool zoo or not, whenever they're spending time with you.
Once, when I was around Fury's age, an elephant sneezed on me. Long after it had already exited the stage. I know you will always make your kids smile like this.
Every time I take my kids to the zoo, we get to see at least one animal poop. That's become an expectation and, when it happens, it's as if everything makes sense in the world again.
All the best to ya.
Wishing you the best through this transition. My husband and I are going through a rough time and may be heading down a similar road. Your post and Mr. Lady's posts make me realize I can get through it and it will be OK. BTW, your kids are adorable!
From someone that has been in your position. These things all get better with time. Kids are resilent and being a single dad
is a challenge but it will have many rewards Never be afraid to ask for help and focus on being their dad. Not just a friend.
I'm almost exactly 1 year divorced and while it was a hard struggle...and I won't lie, it's still hard, it gets easier and easier and better and better. I wish you luck, Jim. I know how it feels and I'm sorry you're going through this.
My kids got to see the lions feeding at the Toronto Zoo and it terrified them. Watching the monkeys perform a scene from Boogie Nights didn't help either. But the poop! The poop was hilarious and made their day!
Have a great day!
They are beautiful smiles, Jim. They'll get you through this. Don't forget to be good to yourself either, 'kay? Anything else I write seems so trite - you'll experience challenges I'm sure, but I know you'll be fine. Love tends to make that happen, and there's a lot of that shining from your kidlets. Hugs.
Huge hugs to you...
You're an incredible dad. And strong.
No one will ever have more ROI on animal poop than you, Shannon and I do. That's a fact.
If I could reach out and fix all of your problems, I would. That's also a fact. Unfortunately, the best I can do is raise a glass and wish you well. You're my ducking fave. Strategically.
I was at the zoo once (can't remember which one) but we were looking at the manatees and there was a very large window .. and a very large manatee penis. Huge. What made it even funnier was the little boy who asked his dad what it was.
Oh .. the awkward hilarity.
Butter is awesome. She's totally a southern girl at heart.
Nothing more to be said.. already been said.
Nathan refuses to believe that is an otter.. he said it's a beaver named butter... I have no words.
Other than.. where's Tanis?
you haven't been writing much and i haven't been reading much of anything of late and so i find myself--only now--thinking all good thoughts for a smooth transition to your family's changed life.
wishing you and your babies a fall FILLED with otters and bald eagles and extra butter.
Butter? That's SO CUTE!!! Yes their smiles are screaming adorable :) Glad they had a nice time. I still remember when wai po took us to the taipei zoo and I was grossed out to see the poor orangutan drool, then pick up his drool and put it back in his mouth. Man, now I want to get lessi a few more otters....she couldn't have picked a cuter animal to bring home. (And ask Fury, the otter was hermione's patronus, so it's a very good sign. Again, he'll understand but you won't)