Dadvatar: The Blissdom Chronicles
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
There is a community living among us that few outside observers have successfully documented, let alone infiltrated. It is a collective of beings who organize themselves in complex social networks based upon tribes and niches. They frolic on Pandora, but can also be found on Twitter, Facebook , Flickr and other imaginary worlds. And their lifeblood is a seemingly infinite energy source called comments and connection. This community I speak of is the world of women bloggers. And I ran among them for three days.
This is my story.
Prologue
You can say I was recruited for this mission four months ago. Selected by the US Potato Board to participate in the Tastemaker Challenge, I was the sole male representative out of nine contestants pitted against each other to do creative things with potatoes and put them on YouTube. After I had accepted the assignment, there was a conference call.
“And for the final challenge, we’re sending you all to cook live. At Blissdom.”
The Adventure
Before I knew it, I was placed into a metal sleep chamber with the words Southwest painted on the side. When I awoke, I found myself in Nashville, TN, carrying a swag bag containing a “smoky eyes” kit, facemask creams, binkies and bling. My mission had begun. As I explored this new world called the Opryland Resort, I couldn’t help but notice how sharp the color-coded rugs were, and how 3-D the vegetation looked under the resort’s bio-domed enclosure.
I knew I had little time to waste, but was hesitant to just jump feet-first into this community. Sure, my feet were sporting new shoes I bought just for Blissdom, but just because you look the part, doesn’t mean the tribe will accept you.
Luckily this acclimation period was made a lot easier by friends I had on the inside. Julie made the cross-country journey with me, and I had Tanis, Rachel and Melanie on speed dial. No matter how confident, one must never step into a conference full of women bloggers without someone to vouch that you're a "friend of ours." It worked for Donnie Brasco, it works for BusyDad.
My first day was spent simply adjusting to the environment. Diving right into an estrogen fueled crowd has seriously scarred brave predecessors of mine. And like the bends, it can mess with your blood. By the late evening, however, I had taken a good dose of Jack Daniel's magic elixir and thus began my night of exploration. To my pleasant surprise, the crowd was very friendly. And I never once had to dig into my aresnal of secret ninja moves from the government.
But they did make me learn their ways. My mind was an empty vessel. I was thirsty for knowledge. And, as it turns out, not at all allergic to feathers.
(That's me bein' gangsta fabulous with Rachel. I posed this way because
when Secret Agent Mama asks you to pose for a picture, you don't say no.)
Here's one of me just having a great time with the natives. I don't remember when this was taken. I don't really remember taking it. The official reason on the post-mission brief is: the oxygen on that planet is too thin and I was lightheaded. Go with it.
(Mishi, Rachel, Melanie and me. Because everyone celebrates the unveiling of Google Buzz by getting...)
The next day, I was feeling a lot more comfortable in my new skin. Mostly because I got to do what I came to do: cook. The Tastemaker Challenge finals took place Friday night and it was everything you'd ever want in a cooking showdown. An array of ingredients, fanfare, drink tickets and my very own Team Jim cheerleading squad.
(Lotus, Tanis and Mishi. I had to beg them repeatedly not to kneecap the other contestants. Especially Tanis, who was weilding a bedazzled pimp cane all weekend. I still have welts.
Not pictured, Vodkamom... and my welts.)
(My assignment was to use feta cheese in a potato salad. Note exasperation on face and 3rd vodka gimlet next to small bowl. Pic courtesy of Secret Agent Mama.)
When the dust settled, I was waist-deep in random chopped up items. I figured if my dish wasn't going to win, I would at least have fun with the fact that I didn't have to clean up my mess. Plus, I have this thing for blades.
Even though I didn't win, the victories went to two very deserving competitors: Jo Lynne won in the video category, racking up the most votes over the past three months, and Rachel won the evening's judging with this dish.
[insert more random stuff in here so that people don't realize that you don't remember much between that and the next picture.]
The next day can be summed up with one word: Karaoke
(Yeah. I know. Watch the video. Pic courtesy of Rachel.)
If you couldn't tell from this post, I had an amazing time mixing and mingling with the women of Blissdom. Admittedly, I was very apprehensive going into it. While I had been to Blogher before, there is a growing male contingent at that conference, so at least you have your school of fish to hide in if needed. This time, however, I was literally the only male on the registration list of 500. While I knew that my closer friends would be ok with this, I really wasn't sure how the others would take to my crashing the party. On the final evening, I shared this sentiment with a small group who had assembled in Blissdom founders Alli Worthington and Barbara Jones' suite.
"I wasn't sure if I'd be accepted here..." I muttered.
"We don't just accept you, we welcome you, Jim" Alli responded.
This blue facepaint? I'm totally keeping it.
Reader Comments (32)
Ha! Great post! It was good to meet you, if briefly, in Nashville. Glad you felt welcomed and at home -- it's an amazing thing about this group of bloggers... you can walk in knowing no one (like I did last year) and walk out with some pretty awesome friends.
(Also, blue is not my color - need more eyeliner?)
Walk. Walk. Walk. Hug Jim. Walk. Walk. Walk. Hug Jim. I swear, I could live in that hotel as long as you were there to hug every mile or two.
You really are the most AWESOME guy in the world, Jim, and I am happy that I can call you a blog friend. Sidenote: is that hotel INCREDIBLE or what? I went there my senior year in high school for Show Choir Nationals. It was FANTASTIC.
xo
I almost crapped my pants laughing at your photo of the Bio-dome. Omg, an Ewok.
This is a great post, Jim. Really love it.
(Just so you know, you just say the word in the future, and we'll Kerrigan somebody for you in the blink of an eye.)
May I just say FOR THE RECORD, that meeting you was one of the highlights of my trip. I'm just sorry we didn't have time for a cup of coffee and a chat.
next time. for realz.
Actually in tears here.
SEriously, laughing so hard.
Like I said at Karaoke; "You're totally an honorary Mom Blogger" *snort*
and Tanis still thinks you should have won.
Doooode
the
Ewok.
love!
Great comedic recap! This was my first Blissdom, so I didn't realize it was also your first. Hope you come next year and I can get to know you!
Your vagina is showing, Britney. :)
What Shannon said.
And, I almost peed myself again watching that video.
I'm glad you infiltrated our tribe! Even though I didn't officially "meet" you, I did take that pic of you getting spanked by Tanis at Fuse so I kinda feel like I "know" you after observing such an, ahem, intimate moment.
And this is why you set off alarms in churches :)
fun :-) glad you got to go and enjoy yourself!
You. Are. A. Rockstar. That is all.
You wear a mean boa. AND you can sing like the Dickens. I haven't heard the B-52's sung that well since the '80's, man.
Love love love this post!
(I woke my husband up to read it to him and, sorry, he didn't love love love it. But he did crack a smile...which is pretty good considering he's been asleep for 2 hours.)
Really enjoyed meeting you. Next year? We karaoke together.
Damn, you have got it all going. Cheerleaders, Cooking challenges, free airfare and karaoke. That is the like the cool trifecta plus one.
I'm just glad you didn't become Bantha fodder.
I'm jealous. That is all.
Sounds like you had a great time. I'm curious about the picture with the ewoks and the rancor, trust Star Wars to catch my attention.
Jealous.
This post is full of awesome.
I didn't know blogher and other conferences like that welcomed us dad bloggers. If I had known that I might have tried to go. Well, it's very brave of you to venture into the uncharted territories :-) Love the rancor in the opryland resort!
That blue-face pic is just... creepy. Ew. Stay natural, Jim.
It sounds like Blissdom is a smaller and easier to connect with people type of conference than BlogHer.
Ali invited me to come, too, and I thought it was because she knows I grew up there and love visiting, but now I see the real reason--so you wouldn't be alone. Ah well. As long as it's the first weekend of Feb., I'll be stuck on the local Air Force base instead of in Nashville with you fine people. Judging by the pictures, however, you did just fine as the lone blue man.
Awesome, Jim. Too bad you didn't win. :(
On the upside, though, you were accepted into the tribe/ clan/ cult. Good luck with that. ;)
Super thiriled that I was able to hang with you a bit, pose with 'gun hand' (WHY?) and do a lil robot here and there. That's all spud!
You and Rachel were my lifelines! Hanging with you was one of my highlights. Now that you're one of us, we can let you in on the *real* conversations women have. :D
Ur such a pimp...
I was quite impressed to see how many men showed up at BlogHer.
I WISH I could gone to Blissdom! Especially so I could see you and Rachel cook off. I love both of your recipes.
Perhaps we'll meet again in NYC???
You were robbed!!!
And I will treasure my picture of my manly Asian friend rocking the pink cowboy hat.
Tis what happens when you slum with rednecks yo...
It was fun watching you do the cancan with all them gals at the end...I was hiding behind a camera....ooh and your rendition of the love shack rocked pretty hard too...If you make it this year Ill be sure to introduce myself!