At Least it Wasn’t a Breast Pump...

I’m big time, suckas… I finally got pitched by a real PR person. In honor of my former profession, I am making good on my promise to do a feature for the first PR person brave enough to trust me to write about their client. This is NOT a pay per post. I do not get a kick back for any sales. This is pure unadulterated editorial. Plus I got y’all a discount. I should have asked for a case of Newcastle at least. Damn… rookie mistake.
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My 2008 Try-To's

If being a parent has taught me anything, it’s that life will always find a way to wedge itself uncomfortably between you and your goals. That’s why I’m not making any resolutions this year. I’m simply going to try. In ya face, resolution gremlin! These are my New Year Try-To’s:

  1. Be more assertive on the discipline front. There will be no more of this:
    Me: Ok, I'm only gonna read you two more pages.
    Marcus: No, ten!
    Me: Nine. And that's that. Because I'm the dad and I said so!
  2. Stop using lack of Tupperware as a reason to eat the last three slices of pizza.
  3. Stop using green peppers as justification that pizza is a healthy part of this nutritious breakfast.
  4. Not take it as a stab in the heart when my son says that the UFC is “so boring.”
  5. Not shed a tear when my son drops the Lego Sandcrawler that I spent 10 hours building. It’s just a toy. It’s just a toy. The point is that he has fun with it. It’s just a toy. Breathe.
  6. Stop thinking “that SO could’ve been me, dammit” when watching Beauty and the Geek.
  7. Stop annoying d Wife by asking “what is the appeal of this show? I’d really like to know” every time she watches The Hills.
  8. Stop griping about how much homework my son has. That’s his job.
  9. Stop using “I’ve got to clear my Google Reader” as an excuse to skip my lunchtime workout.
  10. More water. Less whiskey.

Crossing Over

How do you define a parent? Of course, there’s the biological way, but if our celebrity counterparts have taught us anything this year, a 40 lb. DNA match and Bugaboo stroller a true parent does not make. No, to be a real parent you need to get into character a tad more (ironic isn’t it?). How do you know when you’ve successfully crossed over and truly embraced the biggest role of your life? This is my list.
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