Welcome to the new epoch of The Busy Dad Blog! I would like to avail myself of this auspicious occasion to provide a state of our union to you, the people's voice of parenting.
There is a new look and feel to the site. Some may call it a rebranding. I would call it a reinvigorated purpose. A new glorious pathway. One that required diligent effort and much Photoshop. Please give Ashley Mattocks your credit (which she can exchange for chocolate and VCRs) for her dedicated guidance.
You may have also noticed a new central committee. This consists of my new Minister of the Interior, Exterior and everything in between, Shannon and those who will henceforth be referred to as "The Gang of Five." Their dossiers have been vetted, approved and available in this website's About section.
As with any transitional administration, forging a smooth path to compliance is wrought with bends in the road, if "bends in the road" means the Great Wall of Laundry or enough dirty dishes to line the Marxist-Leninist pathway. While any self-respecting benevolent, great leader always has labor camp at his disposal, there's not much demand in my neighborhood for freshly smelted iron. To my dismay. So instead, I decided to rely on best practices established by luminaries before me to inform, invigorate, and comply: colorful and inspiring posters!
We have a glass problem here, in that children have short memory spans when it comes to cups. When liquid enters their bodies to refresh and replenish, cups get abandoned and forgotten. An average citizen should consume eight cups of liquid per day to remain communally viable. But nowhere in the doctrine does it state eight different cups. They must therefore be corrected.
A full pantry is a sign of prosperity. However, it must be clarified that "full" is defined as full of edible staples. An empty Oreo package, as expertly resealed as it is, cannot be used to fuel our movement. A journey of a thousand miles begins with one step toward the trash can, and maybe five more to complete the assignment. Our trash can even opens on its own. I treat the people right.
When you spend your time toiling to advance the cause, or build that five-story underground fortress on Minecraft, you will need to wash the bourgeoisie spatter off your body. The agenda cannot progress on Axe alone.
While any leader would be more than proud of accomplishments that challenge the infrastructure that the short-sighted elite have set in stone and porcelain, it is unbecoming of visionaries like me to jam a toilet snake into said infrastructure.
Every revolution is a struggle for power. However, I would rather exert our collective effort in wresting it from the ruling class than writing a big check to the electric company.
We thank you for your support and compliance. Or else.