La Revolucion will be showing at 6:25
Monday, November 5, 2007 As you all undoubtedly know, Bee Movie opened this weekend. Marcus had been reciting lines from the previews for weeks, so I knew he was too excited about this flick to wait a few weeks for the crowds to die down. So, on Saturday afternoon I went online and purchased tickets for that evening’s 6:25 show. But this post is not about Bee Movie. This post is about stories that you simply cannot make up – stories that will be included in my son’s A&E Biography when he becomes famous (or infamous) one day.
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We’re running a little too late for comfort. Seats will be hard to come by when we make it to the theater. Luckily, the gods of parenting are smiling down on us and grant me a parking space at the mall within the first 2 minutes of my search. I lift Marcus atop my shoulders and tell him to hang on as we run full speed to the theater. He hangs onto my ear with one hand and flails the other in the air, taking advantage of our harried situation to play rodeo.
We make it to the theater in time to take a pre-emptive pee and push our way into theater number 9. As we walk along the corridor, I notice a very annoying strobe light blinking about every 5 seconds or so. In the theater itself, all the strobe lights are going. Since it’s only the two of us, we manage to find decent seats, up high and in the middle. Nice!
Marcus and I settle in to wait for the movie to begin, but this incessant strobe light is really starting to irritate people. I find out by eavesdropping on random chatter that someone triggered the fire alarm earlier and they need to wait for the Fire Marshall to reset it. Luckily, we were prepared. Marcus pulls a couple of Transformers from his cargo pants and makes a friend of a little girl sitting next to us. She’s brought a coloring book and wind-up ladybug to the table. They are going to be fine.
Time passes. Apparently more than I thought. I look at my watch. It is 6:45. Twenty minutes late, and no Fire Marshall in sight. Kids are becoming restless, parents are getting annoyed. Some of the weaker ones take their protesting kids and leave. We decide to stick it out.
About ten minutes later, a team of managers enters the theater. They call for our attention. The room quiets down to hopefully hear some good news.
“Ladies and gentlemen, please be patient. We’re still waiting for the Fire Marshall to arrive-- ”
“HEY! YOU GONNA START THIS MOVIE OR WHAT!?”
Oh crap… was that my son? It sure sounded like him. Yes it was. He’s standing up, fist in the air. Heads turn. Kids laugh. I give my best “heh heh, what can you do?” shrug/smile.
The manager continues without missing a beat, “… Once they arrive we’ll be able to start the movie.”
“OK! BECAUSE IF YOU DON’T START THIS MOVIE, WE’RE ALL WALKING OUT OF HERE!”
Heads turn again, but instead of annoyance, I see smiles of agreement -- from the parents! Kids start pumping their fists in solidarity. My kid is spearheading a massive walk-out!
“AM I RIGHT??”
He’s won the kids over. Around the room, yeahs echo back in unison.
“AND AFTER WE DO THAT… WE’LL COME BACK AND BUY THIS PLACE!!”
(He’s threatening corporate takeover???)
“AM I RIGHT??”
More agreement -- now from kids and parents alike. Random applause and laughter ensue. I’m one part shocked, one part impressed and one part utterly amused. I do the only thing I can do, given the situation. I sit back and enjoy the show.
The manager responds. “Sir, we’ll be starting the movie as soon as possible. Please be patient.”
(She called my 5-year old boy SIR! This just keeps getting better.)
Marcus responds by pumping both fists in the air. “PLAY IT NOW! ... PLAY IT NOW! ... PLAY IT NOW!”
The crowd follows along in unison. “PLAY IT NOW! PLAY IT NOW! PLAY IT NOW!”
Amidst the chanting, my beaming son turns to me and says, “DAD! I’m gonna be famous!!”
I’m thinking you already are, kiddo.
As with most of Marcus’ shenanigans, at some point I need to step back into responsible parent mode and ramp him down. Eventually, he’s back to ground level, but my curiosity is killing me.
“Hey Fury, where did you learn to do this stuff?”
He reflects for a moment. “I guess I watch too much TV.”
Parents, this is apparently what happens when you leave your TV on the History Channel.
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Reader Comments (17)
Too funny man! Can I borrow your kid? I know a few people that need put in their place. :)
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[BusyDad] I'll definitely add you to the list. He's currently negotiating a deal down in some Central American jungle :D
OMG the shit kids say. Well done on his part though, I am all to sure there were some parents there wanting to do the same. Got to give it to him for speaking his mind. Wonderer if he left the staff there feeling a little frantic and deservingly responsible. Go kid go! LOL
much respect~d
ps; thanks for stopping in on my blog, and more so for commenting.
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[BusyDad] Thanks to you too! he is definitely a handful -- most of the time that's a good (and funny)thing.
Damn. I should not have read this in the office. My laughter couldn't be contained. That was great!
Ok. Now my stomach hurts. I have to leave NOW.
p.s. - thanks for stopping by and commenting earlier.
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[BusyDad] Imagine how hard it was to keep my composure as it was happening! I had to maintain the semblance of a parent who was able to control his kid, but I was loving every moment.
I honestly don't know whether I fear my son will be like yours or PRAY for it. Okay, I do know... I'd give anything to be able to turn my kid loose on any number of irritating retailers and people in theaters who bug the heck out of me, then pass him a five-spot under the table as I shrug, "Kids! What're ya gonna do?!"
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[BusyDad] It's so funny, I never really thought of harnessing this trait of his to do some good in this world, but others have brought it up as well. I wish I could take credit for it, but this is something he just developed on his own. I'm lovin it though.
That is awesome! The world could use some more rabble-rousers. Go Marcus, go!
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[BusyDad] Thanks for visiting Tracy!...as long as they do their rabble rousing outside of the house.
That is FANTASTIC!!! But why am I not surprised? This is the same child that challenged the staff at the natural history museum as to why the demise of the dinosaurs was a good thing.
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[BusyDad] Mils! thanks for dropping by. If Kid Nation makes it another season, I'm signing him up.
holy crap. see .. so the stories always crack me up but i'm always really glad I wasn't there. wonder what that means??? nice going papa jim. lol
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[BusyDad] It means you love parenting as a spectator sport!
Nice job Dad! You're raising a revolutionist! <And> already creating his propoganda posters!
BD is a powerhouse! Marcus is a force to be reckoned with, ~lol~
xo :)
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[BusyDad] Thanks! He's certainly a little dynamo. I'm merely tagging along for the ride...
Oh, man. That's just hilarious. I'm not sure whether I should encourage or discourage the History Channel now.
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[BusyDad] Perfect your "heh-heh... kids." shrug and you can let the History Channel do its thing!
Dude, that is amazing. He is destined to be either the leader of men or some other guy. Either way he will be fun to be around. That was better than any old movie anyways. Meant to be in other words. Classic. Nice work with the photo shop BD. Joe Out.
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[BusyDad] If I didn't have to keep up with this kid all the time, my name would just be Dad... and that ain't too catchy. Thanks for the props on the photos. You know I still laugh at the Sen-Truck...
man, I don't know if the history channel can get all the credit on this one... If I remember correctly, his dad had (has?) his share of moments back in the day...
Great story though, can't wait to meet this little guy! :-)
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[BusyDad] I'm thinking 10th grade class president speech... you are absolutely correct my friend! Totally forgot about that. Like father like son...
That's awesome! Way to raise a rebel!
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[BusyDad] I see a lot of parent-teacher conferences in my future.
He's a born leader! That story just made me spit a little beer down my chin. I wanted to scream "Yeah!" along with the crowd but I was afraid to wake up the sleeping bear in her crib upstairs.
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[BusyDad] And that's why I love to blog and read others' blogs. I can't keep stories like this to myself. I really need a beer too, come to think if it. Thanks for stopping by!
OH MY GOD! I love it! What a little politician you have. Future president or future riot starter. Either way great job at teaching him to stick up for himself!
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[BusyDad] I wish I could take more credit, but this little incident surprised me as much as everyone else!
hhahahaha. Too funny! Leading the revolution already. :)
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[BusyDad] Just got back from his kindergarten parent/teacher conference...this is apparently the norm for him. Oops...
You've been tagged
she called him sir! hahaha!!
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[BusyDad] The little dude commands mad respect!