Beware the Prophecy
Friday, November 16, 2007 Marcus came home from school a little more excited than usual one day.
“How was your day today? Did you do anything fun?” I asked.
“Yeah! I played fortune with Alec.”
“Cool! What was your fortune?”
“I’m gonna get a new Bionicle.”
“Ha ha – good try.”
“No really! The fortune said I was gonna get a new Bionicle! So can we go now?”
“You know we can’t just get you toys for no reason. You need to wait for your birthday or Christmas.”
“I knoooow! But the fortune said so! Fortunes are true, so that means I get a Bionicle.”
“Christmas, ok? No more discussion.”
The prophecy would not be swept aside so unceremoniously. Every trip to the mall. Every stop at Target. For weeks.
“We have to go to KB right?” his confidence and anticipation never waning, despite repeated, outright rejection.
“Fury, I told you. I can’t get you a Bionicle right now. You have to wait for Christmas. Plus, you have like 50 of them!”
“Ok... but the fooortune...”
By now, this word “fortune” had taken on an almost taunting undertone in its delivery. The same way you’d say “okaay... don’t say I didn’t warn yoooou.”
“Wanna ride your bike today?”
“Ok, and then afterwards get my Bionicle.”
“Chriiiiistmaaas...”
“Foooortune...”
One Friday night, after this fortune thing had become an integral part of my daily interaction with my son, we decided to have family night out at Dave & Buster’s. As is customary, I loaded up the pockets of Marcus’ and my own cargo shorts with as many toys as the seams could withstand. In went Toa Nuju, Toa Matau, a Piraka and a Rahi (I am well versed in Bionicle nomenclature. Comes with the territory). We met up with mom, who drove separately from another appointment. Sometime toward the end of our meal, mom and dad got into a spat about something. I don’t remember what it was, but it was enough for me to take Marcus from the table to partake in a more constructive activity like Skee Ball or shooting zombies. A couple beers and a cupful of prize tickets later, we noticed that mom had left.
The next day, I was figuring out what to make Marcus for lunch. Leftovers! One of the best feelings in the world when you realize that you’re 1 minute 30 seconds on the radiation carousel away from fulfilling your meal shift duties.
“Lisa, where did you put the leftovers from last night?” I asked, scanning the refrigerator shelves.
“I didn’t bring them,” she responded.
“But when we went back to the table, it was empty,” I reasoned (as if that would make them magically appear on the shelf).
“Yeah, well, I didn’t bring them,” she reiterated.
“Oh great...”
As I stood there, mired in frustration, that feeling quickly gave way to a slow sinking sensation. The kind that makes you want to poop. My mind’s eye quickly reconstructed the scene as I walked away from the table that night. Wife stewing. Leftovers boxed. Twisted Bionicle bodies strewn across the table.
“Uh, Lisa… you didn’t bring anything home?”
“No.”
When you’ve been beat, you’ve been beat. You take the loss like a man and you regroup for another day. I marched up to my son, head held high.
“Fury, we’re going to Target.”
His eyes lit up “For my Bionicle?”
“For FOUR Bionicles.”
“YAAAAAAY!!! I knew it! I told you the fortune was true, man!”
Damn you, Prophecy! From this point on, ALL portents of the future, from Magic 8 Ball to Panda Express fortune cookies will be duly screened and censored by yours truly before being passed along to any member of this family!
Reader Comments (27)
That'll teach you to argue with your wife. Remember the phrase that pays: Happy Wife = Happy Life. Hmmm... maybe you'll get that in your next fortune cookie.
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[BusyDad] So unfair! Nothing rhymes with happy husband! you gals get all the cool phrases.
LMAO! Dang those fortunes...
Hey thanks for your comment...And Advice. My hubby is a Network Security Internet Analyst(such a long title for IT pple lol) I found the originating site and the hosting company pulled it as well as word press...
It is sad, but I stay diligent. A few others it has happened to as well. Thanks for popping by!
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[BusyDad] Wow, I'm glad something was actually done about that. Nice to see that happen every once in a while!
Oh man! You got owned! ;)
Lovers spat or not, Fury was on his game!
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[BusyDad] He's got fate on his side. This dad can't win. Ever.
BTW, you need to see about getting that trackback business up in here. I'm so buzzy, and bloggy, and you are so good at commenting on my comments, but I never think to come and check you out after the fact.
Word!
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[BusyDad] Truthfully, I am such a novice at all this stuff. I just have a funny kid and a laptop. What exactly is that? (Anyone can jump in and help me on this one! Just email me... thanks!)
I'm so impressed by your vast Bionicle knowledge! And really...I think fortune cookies might be okay. lol
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[BusyDad] You should see Marcus! He's always making fun of me that I get the names wrong. As if everyone should just know that it's Toa Matau and not Toa Matali. Jeez dad... get with it!
Wow. I've never even heard of a Bionicle! Guess I'd better bone up before my little one gets big and asks for one. I don't want to be one of those clueless, nerd moms. Anyway, good job trying to stave off fate but it always catches up to you eventually. (Haven't you ever seen Star Wars?)
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[BusyDad] Bionicle is a product made by Lego. It's actually a pretty cool toy because like Legos all the parts are interchangeable. And Star Wars? That movie makes it into my conversations with my son on an hourly basis! He's a Star Wars freak, and, yes, I admit being quite the Star Wars geek myself...
Bionicles make bedtime reading difficult - for the grown up! I got less than half the names right while reading to fury. I switched to the more familiar stories afterwards. Geez, bedtime stories just aren't the same anymore! But yes, all fortune cookies should be banned....
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[YourBrother] I know... I should have gotten him the Bionicle book series after he learned to read by himself.Of course, nothing is as hard to read as "Fox in Socks."
after i am done laughing, i will feel appropriately sorry for you. just give me a minute.
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[BusyDad] *sigh* take all the time you like. I'm used to it... I'm such the posterboy for dad ownage.
You have one very persistent lad there and persistence can be a good recipe for success in life, I think. As they say try and try until you succeed!
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[BusyDad] Yes indeed! and now that he's been proven right, he's going be as persistent as ever. I'm so dead.
Dude should go to Harvard Debate team and just end it already.
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[BusyDad] He's the reason I only have one kid. Any more like him and I'd be reduced to a useless blob of dazed jelly.
hehe, I have no idea what a bionicle is, but that is pretty funny! :)
Cindy
www.adayinthelifeofcindy.blogspot.com
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[BusyDad] They're interchangeable robot beings made by Lego. Each one has a different special weapon. But all share the special power of sucking out every last dollar from your wallet.
bionicles...oh, i just love those things. especially when, my 4 year old, gets hold of my older sons and the small pieces wedge their way into the carpet...they are so pleasant to step on!
my kids fortune cookies told them to tell me...playmobil castles, ripsticks, craft supplies...i'm bankrupt thinking about it!
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[BusyDad] ha ha - yeah, so true. The worst part about stepping on my son's toys is that I'm sitting there writhing in pain as he's sitting there pissed that I broke his beloved toy.
We have a similar toy obsession at our house. It used to be Scooby Doo, then Star Wars, then Pokemon, now it's Gameboy and Playstation. I sent a link to your post to my husband. He will get a kick out of it.
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[BusyDad] Yup – I tried to stem it, but the interest in all things digital is slowly becoming apparent. Ironically, Bionicle was that bridge. He loves the “Bionicle Heroes” video game, and that has led to a whole new world of (very expensive) playthings! Thanks for passing on the link!
Fate is not to be reckoned with. This is too perfect. The boy child is sure to be looking forward to his next fortunate fortune.
I also had a recent brush with fate. I wrote about it in a post called 'Cash Deposit'. I do not know what bionicals cost, but I suspect you made out better then me. Fate is shining on you!
much respect~d
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[BusyDad] Yes - which is exactly why I reserve the right to censor all fortunes from this point on! I read 'Cash Deposit' when you posted it and I felt your pain. Did you ever find the rest of the cash?
Jenny over at Mommin' It Up sent me this way.
You a great humorist. Thanks for the laugh.
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[BusyDad] Thank you for the nice compliment :) I love having new visitors. And Jenny rocks!
I SO know that sinking feeling when you realise you've messed up.
I don't so much get the urge to poop, rather the backs of my eyeballs go cloudy and I need to lie down, just before my wife screeches my name a tone only otherwise heard when addressing their old doubly incontinent family pet. (who DID often poop, co-incidence? I think not)
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[BusyDad] Funny - I guess my household is the opposite. I feel like pooping when I mess up. My dog lies down when he messes up. But he starts licking his privates too. I think it's a way to save face, like "I was lying down to clean myself all along."
Lol.
Well, at least you didn't have ANOTHER fight with the darling wife over who should have brought home the toys...
I hope they're not too expensive. :)
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[BusyDad] Yeah -- I know that some battles are worth forfeiting! Thanks for stopping by :)
Dang. I need to get me an 8-ball and ask it if I'm going to get a 50-inch Plasma ...
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[BusyDad] If it helps at all, it already told me "ask me again in 20 years."
Yeah, and don't you love how they keep coming up with NEW Bionicles. You're right, they have a way of sucking the money right out of your wallet. However, after four consecutive years of Bionicles being on various Christmas lists, they are not on a one this year! There's time to squeeze in an email to Santa, though.
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[BusyDad] It was SO much easier when you had to handwrite a letter to Santa. You had a good 4-6 week window to expect a response. Nowadays kids expect instant gratification "What's Santa's IM?" I cannot imagine what my house will look like after 4 years of Bionicle!
Hi BusyDad, Too funny about the bionicles!! I have a son and 3 daughters, so I only have to deal with bionicles with one of them, most of the time anyway. However, occasionally, the littlest one will find them and of course leave them in the path of my feet! Or on the couch in just the right place for my butt to land. It does NOT feel good! As for fate, well all fortune telling items have been banned from our house. Fortune cookies, when we very rarely eat Chinese food, get opened first and then given to the kids. They don't even get to read them anymore. :) Have a blessed week!!
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[BusyDad] You, miss, are a smart cookie! Pre-empt every fortune lest they haunt you later.
Hey, I just gave you an award cuz I think you're so great!! Come on over to my blog and check it out when you get a minute!
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[BusyDad] Thank you so much Karen!! It really means alot to me when others enjoy this blog.
Okay, so maybe you just didn't post it...but did you call the restaurant to see if they had the toys...they should have still been there. If not I would take it up with the manager, because the person who cleared the table from the food should have left them along with the leftovers.
Liking your blog, nice to hear from a male perspective.
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[BusyDad] Thanks! And thanks for visiting. Yeah, you'd think I would call the restaurant. And yeah, they'd probably have the toys too. I just felt like such an idiot, that frankly I felt pretty foolish calling them about it.
Great Post. I hear you about forgetting stuff. I think I have lost 3 umbrellas, a baby turtle and forgot many a left over!
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[BusyDad] A baby turtle?? funny. I'll remember that once Marcus starts asking to bring his pets to dinner.
Crazy how things work out that way, isn't it?
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[BusyDad] Totally. You couldn't even make this stuff up if you tried!
We did the bionicle thing with our 12-year-old, but good lawd you can't try to keep up! I think we still have some of his stored away; they must be 6 or 7 years old by now. Should I send them your way?? heh-heh
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[BusyDad] Yeah, why do they give these things such complex names?? It's easier to memorize the periodic table of elements! Ha - imagine if a whole bunch of random bionicles came in the mail. He'd be hooked for life on that fortune game.
Oh no! Glad you got it worked out. :)
haha Well SD, it could be worse. It could be a new car. And, when you start passing those out...let me know :) lol
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[BusyDad] Oh I'm sure the new car prophecy is waiting in a fortune cookie with my name on it. I just know it.