You Better Stay Busy, Dad
Monday, November 12, 2007 For a few good years, I was fortunate enough to be a work-at-home dad. That’s when I was able to really get my hands dirty with the axle grease of child rearing, from morning routines, to cooking and feeding, to potty training, to the night time wind-down. Now that I have a “real job,” my weekday interaction with Marcus has been severely curtailed to not much more than a groggy kiss as I leave the house, and 10 minutes playtime, 2 books and a goodnight hug and kiss after I return in the evening. Luckily, I still have weekends to live out the adventures that blogs are made of. But Marcus isn’t one to be short-changed. He has instituted a very strict Quality Control policy to our precious daily 10 minutes. Here are some typical exchanges:
* * * *
Me: Ok, I’m starting the timer right n...
Marcus: NO WAIT! I need to put this claw piece on my Bionicle first. Can you do this?
Me: Let me just start the tim...
Marcus: But without the claw, I can’t play. That’s not playtime, is it?
Me: *sigh* gimme that...
* * * *
Me: Ok, ten minutes starts... now!
[I dig through the bin]
Marcus: You’re not playing with me. Play with me!
Me: Wha? Yes I am! I’m trying to decide which Bionicle I’m gonna be!
Marcus: You weren’t ready. I want a do-over!
* * * *
Me: There’s not enough light in here.
[Walk over to lamp, turn on lamp, return to playing]
Beep
Me: Fury did you just stop the timer?
Marcus: Yeah. That didn’t count as playing.
* * * *
Me: Neeeeeer! Kablow! Gotcha! Blue leader confirms the kill.
Marcus: Roger roger blue leader!
[Start picking something out of my teeth]
Marcus: Your not playing--
Me: Brue Leawer wocked on carget. Hwire Wissiles! Girect Hit!
* * * *
[Cell phone rings – it’s the wife. We have a house rule not to yell from another room. This is the parental work-around.]
Me: Hey... no, not yet. Ok, yeah. I’ll look for it later... I’m...
Marcus: Awwwwooouu!! That’s not playinnng!
Me: Ok... yeah, I think I know where it is. Hey, gotta go, I’m cutting into our ten minutes. Bye.
Me: Sorry Fury, mom needed to ask me something. I’ll credit you one minute.
Marcus: That was four minutes!
Me: Nice try. I have a timer on my phone too, boy.
* * * *
Beeep Beeep Beeep...
Marcus: Huh? That was too short!
Me: That was ten minutes, son. I can’t alter time.
Marcus: That doesn’t count! I spent 1 minute finding the piece that I dropped.
Me: That took ten seconds! No. Bed. Now.
Marcus: Thanks for my nine minutes playtime, Dad.
* * * *
[Stories have been read, water administered, goodnights exchanged. Marcus is in bed.]
Me: Ahhh. All done!
Wife: It’s 9:20! He’s supposed to be in bed by 9:00! I thought you started getting him ready at 8:30?
Me: ... but he dropped his toy... and the lamp... I had to bonus him... and then...
Wife: *sigh*
Me: I gotta check my email.
My nightshift manager and co-workers
Reader Comments (15)
I love your posts. I have linked to your site and you can be sure I will be back for more!
much respect~d
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[BusyDad] Thank you very much! I'm a regular at yours as well. And you be linked too!
He is destined to be a CEO, isn't he?
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[BusyDad] Sweatshop line manager at the very least...
That was great! I'm curious, how early in the day does he start plotting what activity you guys will fill the ten minutes with, or is this decided when you get home? And the house rule, genius. I WISH WE HAD THOUGHT OF THAT!
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[BusyDad] Thanks Chuck! He usually decides while I'm wolfing down my dinner (by the time I get home, he's already done). When I'm doing that, he plays by himself and plans our 10 minutes. That house rule is very hard to remember. I break it ALL the time!
THAT was hilarious! You are very talented in the dad and in the story telling arenas!
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[BusyDad] Thank you Jenny! Makes me really happy to hear that. I have the best inspiration. He cracks me up to no end. Some stories just don't translate as well to a written format, unfortunately.
I JUST told my daughter that she is Queen of Stalling at bedtime. I feel your pain.
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[BusyDad] They're good, ain't they?
Great post...kids are the winner of procrastination it's their right.
Have fun..
Dorothy from grammology
remember to call your grandma
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[BusyDad] Definitely can't beat 'em at that game. You're right, might as well have fun with it.
Funny as this post is, it's also incredibly touching. Your kid loves you so much he doesn't want to waste a second of his time with you. So sweet.
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[BusyDad] So well said. Yes, this kid is my life.
With 4 kids myself I know what you are in for on a daily basis!
Your humor in your posts are amazing! Keep it up BusyDad!
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[BusyDad] Thank you much Tara! I'm glad I can entertain. 4 kids would severely impede my ability to write ... or stay sane.
I am amazed by your patience. I think my head would explode after the third attempt at stalling.
http://3boysundermyroof.blogspot.com
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[BusyDad] Even prior to having a kid, it always took a lot to get me riled up. I'm just perpetually mellow. I've recently realized how incredibly lucky I am to have been born with this trait. I'm the Basset Hound of Dads.
That's one smart kid. How do they learn to be so...you know...manipulative and cute at the same time????
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[BusyDad] It's got to be an innate trait that all kids are born with. Too bad you lose it once you grow up. I would accomplish so much if I could harness that skill.
I love the conversational reporting style.
(I'm a fist-time reader and shall return.)
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[BusyDad] Thanks! Come by anytime (and I just subscribed to yours too). All these dad blogs... who knew?
Baaah! You did good! I say he gets more play time. Twenty more minutes with dad is much, much better than sleep. That's what I say.
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[BusyDad] I agree! It IS worth it. But give em an inch... I'm sure you know!
I always enjoy reading your blog. Love this post! Oh, and check it out...I just nominated you for an award.
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[BusyDad] Hey! Thanks so much!! Imma check it out right now.
Oh no! That's funny. I have the same situation...the kids pretty much have to go to bed when I get home. No fun. :P
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[BusyDad] That line we walk between provider and "dad" is a tough one. Just squeeze out every moment you can and make it the best it can be. It's about making memories AND dollars.
so, i'm watching my son play with his thomas train...which he NEVER plays with, by the way. suddenly, it hits me...i don't know which toys have been recalled. i must be the only person on the planet that hasn't gotten the LIST and meticulously gone through all of her children's toys. bad mommy! anyway, loved the post...could that kid be any stinking cuter...really?!
take care!
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[BusyDad] Thanks! Hey, I think I'm the bad dad here. Not only do I know what's been recalled, my kid is still playing with them (but I do draw the line at licking). And of course, the moment you say such and such toy needs to go back to the toystore, the more he wants to play with it. You can't win...