Do Labor Unions Hold Drafts?

If so, someone should be watching this kid. Threats made during a recent time-out:

“Dad, I’m not letting you read my book tonight. Mom is!”
Pfft. All the less work for me, kid.

“And you know what? I’m not gonna let you film me for your W8 Loss Wednesday videos anymore!”
Well… maybe my weight loss journey is in and of itself interesting. At least I still have the dogs.

“And I’m not opening any more beers for you!”
Dammit! Now that’s hitting below the belt!

Sure, If You Want to Get Technical…

I should just keep the TV on the Military Channel. It provides non-stop blog fodder. We’re watching Best Ranger 2007...

Fury: “Dad, what’s a Ranger?”

Me: “A Ranger is like a special forces army guy. More deadly than a regular soldier.”

Fury: “So like a commando?”

Me: “Yes! Like a commando!”

Fury: “Except they wear underwear?”

In case you did not understand this post: Going Commando

Pop Quiz

Q: How can you tell that you talk way too much about blogging?
A: Your 5-year-old does this while you’re playing Legos with him on a Sunday night:

“Hey dad, don’t look ok?”
[turns around and starts tinkering with pieces]

“Here you go!”


“Hahaha! What is that supposed to be, Fury!?”

“It’s Mr. Lady!”

Yes, folks, my son is down with one of the baddest mommy bloggers in the land, Mr. Lady of Whiskey in My Sippy Cup. You just can’t BUY that kind of juice.

Yo Mama Reads Alltop!

Well, at least mine should.

Because her son's blog is on it! Right here, front and center (well, go to the right, then scroll down... a little more, yeah yeah, your scrolling finger is sore! stop complaining, keep scrolling, we're scroooling... aaaaand stop!) BOOYAH!

Alltop is the brainchild of venture capitalist/entrepreneur/tech celebrity Guy Kawasaki. Did you click on the link to Alltop yet? Did you think "what? that's it? a page that aggregates RSS feeds?" Yeah, so did I. But that's because I'm not the visitor Guy is trying to reach. That's the genuis of this website.

If you are reading this blog, chances are you are a blogger. Chances are you are a mom blogger between the ages of 24-45 (don't think I don't do my homework, I am a wily counter-stalker). Chances are you have 234 unread posts in your Google Reader right now. Alltop wasn't built to appeal to you.

Guy Kawasaki built Alltop for my mom. My mom who after a 5 or 6 emails and phone calls back and forth finally figured out how to configure a reader, and after many attempts managed to successfully subscribe to my RSS feed.

My mom, who several months later had this conversation with me:

"So, I can get your blog on my Google, but isn't just as easy for me to just go to your website?"

"Yeah mom, you can get the same thing by going to my site, but then you have to do the same for all the other blogs you visit. Isn't it a lot easier to have the most recent posts show up in one place?"

"But I only have your blog on my reader. I don't read other blogs."

*forehead smack* "oh... yes, just go to my website then."

Ok, on second thought, maybe he didn't build this for my mom. Maybe your mom, or the average non-blogging internet user who has probably seen the ubiquitous orange radar looking doohickey but is too intimidated to figure out what it's for. To these folks, Alltop is everything they ever needed: the blog feeds and excerpts from of all the top sites organized by category (e.g. small business, celebrities, humor, gadgets, green living, dads, moms...). Sure, it's simplistic. But so is Craigslist.

[Editor's note: look at me getting all excited and not minding my manners! Big THANK YOU to Guy Kawasaki for adding me, and to anyone who recommended me to him of which I know Amy T Sharp of Doobleh-Vay is one, and to Jenny (aka The Bloggess) for clueing me into the significance of Guy and all he does!]

Carnage > V.D.

FutureWeapons is a very cool show on the Military Channel. Sunday's episode highlighted robotics and unmanned military vehicles. Educational, safe to watch, and we’re both engrossed in this interesting show.

A commercial break. I leave to check email.

The sound of TV commercials provides background drone. I pay no heed to the “ask your doctor” disclaimer piping in from the next room. Until Fury’s voice follows it up.

“Dad? What’s Herbies?”

Oh no.

“Daaad! What’s Herbies?”
Trying my best not to crack up. “Um. It’s... a disease.”
“What happens when you have Herbies?”

Failing miserably right now. Stifling a laugh in the crook of my elbow.

“How do you get Herbies?”

I have no answer. I’m laughing too hard.

“What’s so funny?”
“Something really funny is on my computer, Fury.”
“Lemme see!”

Commercial break ends. Back to robotic killing machines.

Saved by the bell.

I Would So Rock the Interview

Car rides are a good opportunity for me to educate my son. Today, I decided to talk about the risks of alcohol.

Me: So, Fury, you can't just drink whenever or wherever you want.

Fury: When can you drink?

Me: Well, you can drink when you're at home, or if you are having fun or relaxing. Like if you're not doing anything too important.

Fury: Why?

Me: Because when you drink, sometimes you can't pay as much attention to certain things. Like at work. They don't let you drink when you're at work. You know why?

Fury: Ya, you'll spill it.

This is going on my next Staples order.

Oops. One More TIp...

I'd like to append yesterday's post with one more valuable tip:

Hartman.jpg"What is your major malfunction, numbnuts? Didn't Mommy and Daddy show you how to pay attention to yer friends' blogs when you were a child? "

Yeah, um, make sure to keep up with your favorite blogs, because if you don't, you'll do stupid stuff like totally miss the fact that just a few days ago they also nominated you for the same writing award, and you went ahead and posted without acknowledging them and now you feel like a dope. Sorry Secret Agent Mama! I'm sure everyone who reads this blog also reads her blog, so she needs no introduction. All I have to say is she's crazy talented with both the "pen" and the camera and I'm proud to call her a friend. Pretty soon, I'll be calling her a co-conspirator as well, as we're cooking up a very cool cross-blog post of epic proportions. Stay tuned!

I Really Should've Been Mad

I woke up to find this little scene in the backyard. All things considered, it actually made me quite happy. Good boy, Krypto!


[Editor's Note] Apparently I was being a little too cryptic. Point of this post: At least SOMEONE is enjoying this sandbox I spent an entire back-breaking day building! Krypto slid the top halfway off and spent the morning blissfully digging away.

Let's Get Cultural!

"Hey Dad, wanna see me turn this Lego dude into a Chinese guy?"

"A Chinese guy? How are you gonna do that??"


Ok, the hat I get. But what’s up with the chicken leg??


(It is the Year of the Rat. That is my Zodiac sign. According to ancient Chinese tradition, blog readers are supposed to give you special gifts when your animal year comes around.)

We are NOT experiencing technical difficulties

"Hey Dad, can you help me? I got lost."

"What do you mean lost?"

"I got lost from the Bionicle video you found me. Can you help me get it again?"

"Oh, yeah sure..."

I walk over to the computer, expecting that he'd simply clicked an ad, or lost the browser. Nope. Never underestimate a kid who was using a mouse long before he knew what a crayon was.